tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post1090644851409595414..comments2023-12-25T11:13:04.495+00:00Comments on Seraphic Singles: Perpetual PraiseSeraphichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-2412088049853613962012-02-06T01:51:27.790+00:002012-02-06T01:51:27.790+00:00Oh, by the way, I didn't mean to make two post...Oh, by the way, I didn't mean to make two posts. My first one didn't appear, so I rewrote it. Oops. <br /><br />Anyway, I suppose if my situation is unique, then I see where too much flattery could kill a more gradually-climbing relationship.Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-1942532993817144452012-02-05T08:23:00.784+00:002012-02-05T08:23:00.784+00:00Well, that's because I can see how badly it co...Well, that's because I can see how badly it could otherwise work. Meanwhile, the post was really about perpetually praising husbands, not about not perpetually praising non-husbands. <br /><br />We are dealing in two realms here: the general and the particular. In general, there are commonsense rules that generally derive from the way men and women are, especially towards each other. But there is also the fact that every human being is a unique person who behaves in a unique way. It's a bit like Eddington's table: a solid flat thing made of wood AND a collection of atoms with a lot of space in between them. So in general, don't flatter men like crazy. But in your particular, it was okay. <br /><br />If a guy is really that into you, right from the start, then there might not be much you can accidentally do that discourages him. He's already made his choice, and everything has clicked, and it's great. But this is not the situation the majority of my readers face. They have not yet met the guy who is THAT into them, or that they are THAT into. <br /><br />Many women try to encourage feelings that might not be there--or might not be there yet--with all kinds of courtship behaviours that backfire. <br /><br />So it's great that you have met the One, and it was all clear sailing, but my purpose here is not to celebrate women who have successful, marriage-track relationships, but to give entertainment, comfort and counsel to women (and whichever interested men) who are Single and struggling to stay seraphic about it.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-83546059577721711512012-02-05T05:36:10.605+00:002012-02-05T05:36:10.605+00:00Yes, but we have been this way since the very begi...Yes, but we have been this way since the very beginning. I'm saying, complimenting each other has never stood in the way of our relationship's progress.Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-64092173926009333552012-02-04T17:58:40.276+00:002012-02-04T17:58:40.276+00:00Well, we've been like that from the beginning,...Well, we've been like that from the beginning, is what I mean. <br /><br />Plus, you seemed to say--in fact you DID say-- that you should not behave this way to men who are not your husband, and obviously my boyfriend is not yet.Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-90823780473204466062012-02-04T11:16:59.491+00:002012-02-04T11:16:59.491+00:00As marriage plans are underway, you are in a diffe...As marriage plans are underway, you are in a different situation than quite a few girls. If the man is really yours, it doesn't matter if he is completely sure of you, that he has "landed" you.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-42410931775695365082012-02-03T22:04:48.583+00:002012-02-03T22:04:48.583+00:00Disclaimer: nothing I say that follows should be r...Disclaimer: nothing I say that follows should be read into as hostile or overly-critical. I've actually been thinking over this a lot the past few days. <br /><br />The thing is, it's posts like these that make me wonder if all the "rules" and guidelines--beyond the obvious precautions to protect chastity prescribed by the Church-- regarding what is the most appropriate way to behave in a relationship really mean anything. <br /><br />My boyfriend and I absolutely lavish each other with sincere compliments. Sometimes I just can't help but tell him how proud I am of him for such and such thing, and he likes to question aloud how he managed to be as lucky as to land a gal like me. And when I tell him what a good man he is, I think it gives him encouragement to continue to be. If he felt like I didn't notice his awesomeness, why would he bother to make the effort? We've often observed that our deep mutual appreciation for each other is an ingredient in the glue that binds us together. Furthermore, I have never felt, nor do I predict I will ever feel, taken for granted. <br /><br />Complimenting each other and saying aloud the things we love and appreciate about each other is something we will always do, and our relationship is most decidedly not any worse for it. Marriage plans are already underway. <br /><br />My point is, I think there are a lot fewer hard and fast rules about how to interact with a significant other than writers for singles seem to think. I'm always hearing, "You should always do this, but NEVER do that." and I find that the boyfriend and I have hardly followed any of them, and things are going just fine, all the same. So how necessary are these rules, really? I'm becoming more and more convinced that landing and keeping a spouse is a lot more luck-of-the-draw, providence, and common sense according to the individuals involved.Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-74073232135558148052012-02-01T23:30:06.348+00:002012-02-01T23:30:06.348+00:00No to married lady advice blog. I've been marr...No to married lady advice blog. I've been married for less than three years!Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-56267275818590736542012-02-01T20:03:01.642+00:002012-02-01T20:03:01.642+00:00Great advice and much appreciated! Maybe you shoul...Great advice and much appreciated! Maybe you should have a married lady advice blog?aussie girl etcnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-28560624777802797862012-02-01T19:18:20.028+00:002012-02-01T19:18:20.028+00:00Keeping this in mind. Great food for thought.Keeping this in mind. Great food for thought.not a minx, a moron, or a parasitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04799393593685552159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-27977914537087147902012-02-01T18:37:16.048+00:002012-02-01T18:37:16.048+00:00Oh yes. Of course there is a golden mean. You don&...Oh yes. Of course there is a golden mean. You don't have to be rude to other men. Certainly it is nice to congratulate them when they do something good. "Hey, great presentation," when you mean it is a nice thing to say. But it's not your job to be a cheerleader for men who aren't your husband or in otherwise your family.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-20601960967414756632012-02-01T17:46:29.817+00:002012-02-01T17:46:29.817+00:00I think this is great! It reminds me of Philippian...I think this is great! It reminds me of Philippians 4:8 - "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about these things". Only don't just think about them, but call them out! I think it would really maintain an attitude of mutual appreciation and respect in a marriage.<br /><br />While miserable marriages are bad news indeed, it is very possible to learn from even the non-ideal marriages we witness. (Not that we should seek them out as examples, but if that's all you've got in your family, you can still learn and think about what you'd do differently.) As Seraphic very wisely points out, there is always hope.Mustard Seednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-66030333828525101592012-02-01T17:03:05.881+00:002012-02-01T17:03:05.881+00:00Passionate pandering -- I love it!
Isn't the...Passionate pandering -- I love it! <br /><br />Isn't there a golden mean though? A subtle "I admire you for being/doing x" can boost anyone's happiness level, I've noticed, without having to be any kind of goopy flattery. <br /><br />I think you could make this a post for us singles by letting us know that we should be free to say, "I'm so proud of you for...(whatever it is)," to everyone around us, guys and girls both. I don't know anyone who responds to that badly. <br /><br />I've found that both hearing these formulations and saying them makes me a more positive person in general, single or not. It seems like a good habit to build now, so that it doesn't come so strangely after (if) we get married. <br /><br />Thoughts?Catherinenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-31692084283392210302012-02-01T16:30:56.368+00:002012-02-01T16:30:56.368+00:00Auntie, this is brilliant. Thanks for such fabulou...Auntie, this is brilliant. Thanks for such fabulous advice. I will be storing it away for later... :)Tesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07797493386545660391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-30745727047528778742012-02-01T14:17:49.920+00:002012-02-01T14:17:49.920+00:00Good advice! As a married person who loves this bl...Good advice! As a married person who loves this blog, I will make a point of <i>actually saying</i> the good things I think about my husband!Alyssahttp://movingwithgod.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com