tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post1138257184309268703..comments2023-12-25T11:13:04.495+00:00Comments on Seraphic Singles: "Be My Girlfriend But You Should Know..."Seraphichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-73670781428048540902012-06-04T21:14:38.604+01:002012-06-04T21:14:38.604+01:00Oh wow, I realized actually know the people we'...Oh wow, I realized actually know the people we're talking about. (Knew this story sounded familiar!!) To put it in a little more context, NCG wasn't really that interested in NCB in the beginning. Sure he was a cute, funny, NCB but she didn't care much for dating...or crushes. NCB was the one who initiated the relationship. Basically he told our NCG that, in so many words, he liked her. She was in denial that a guy wanted to date her for a few weeks, but finally "gave in" despite the, "but I still like this other girl." He's a real sweetheart, y'know the roses, the candy, the "I luv u" on a post-it on her locker, and he's most definitely NOT interested in a sexual relationship. But still, he's shown more than once that he's mostly just interested in himself. He's "sorry for making such a big deal about this other girl" BUT blows up at NCG when she tries to explain how SHE feels. Now this all sounds like NCG should dump NCB but she really does like him...she's trying to reason through this and trying to get NCB to change his act. If he doesn't, well...I'm pretty sure she'll give him the boot.Elisa S.C.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-68393055911656470992012-06-04T21:06:17.267+01:002012-06-04T21:06:17.267+01:00Oh wow, I realized actually know the people we'...Oh wow, I realized actually know the people we're talking about. (Knew this story sounded familiar!!) To put it in a little more context, NCG wasn't really that interested in NCB in the beginning. Sure he was a cute, funny NCB but she didn't care much for dating...or crushes. NCB was the one who initiated the relationship. Basically he told our NCG that, in so many words, he liked her. She was in denial that a guy wanted to date her for a few weeks, but finally "gave in" despite the, "but I still like this other girl." He's a real sweetheart, y'know the roses, the candy, the "I luv u" on a post-it on her locker, and he's most definitely NOT interested in a sexual relationship. But still, he's shown more than once that he's mostly just interested in himself. He's "sorry for making such a big deal about this other girl" BUT blows up at NCG when she tries to explain how SHE feels. Now this all sounds like NCG should dump NCB but she really does like him...she's trying to reason through this and trying to get NCB to change his act. If he doesn't, well...I'm pretty sure she'll give him the boot.Elisa S.C.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-29544697723978516372012-05-30T14:20:41.430+01:002012-05-30T14:20:41.430+01:00The problem I have with this guy is that he is now...The problem I have with this guy is that he is now chastising his girlfriend for trying to get him over his crush.<br /><br />Ok, he was so very, very honest. Well, not really. How many of us could have said the same thing at one point? Crushes NORMALLY come and go unless a person tries very hard to maintain them; none of mine have lasted three months, let alone three years! You see, I figured if I'd had a crush on a guy for three months and hadn't got a date with him even after lots of hints and flirting, I'd better get over it. I also didn't applaud myself as a romantic heroine for experiencing unrequited love. If a man told me "Oh, I am getting over a crush on that girl over yonder, but I really want to date you," I'd think a few of dates with me would make him forget about the other chick. Maybe he wouldn't want to keep dating me forever, but he would lose interest in her.<br /><br />It sounds to me like true honesty would have been "I have obsessed unhealthily over an unobtainable girl for 3 years, and have no intention of stopping. Care to date me? If you get angry about my continued infatuation and the actions I take to keep it alive, I will yell at you."<br /><br />And I have to ask, since when has honesty, and not charity, been considered the highest virtue in Christianity? Telling someone "I will treat you badly, is that okay with you?" does not excuse uncharitable deeds, people.<br /><br />That freshman needs to show her older facebook status the door and not speak to him again. Delete his emails, delete his facebook messages, ignore texts. He's more into drama than he is into her, and it's not worth it.sciencegirlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-10024878942960407562012-05-30T06:47:32.326+01:002012-05-30T06:47:32.326+01:00So true! And so incredibly hard to accept when you...So true! And so incredibly hard to accept when you're already crazy about someone. :( I hope your emailer will get out of her situation with minimal emotional damage.<br /><br />I know, though, that despite the fact that "men do not think the way women do," women can be tempted to start this kind of drama, too. (But not any of your readers, surely!) The idea of being attractive to someone when you've been passed over by your "first choice" can seem very consoling, but that's still using a person as a means to an end, as you mentioned. Not okay!n.panchanchahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14371104836667363271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-54944451111021661742012-05-30T04:52:08.170+01:002012-05-30T04:52:08.170+01:00Wow... Yep, the guy's a louse. Too bad for NCG...Wow... Yep, the guy's a louse. Too bad for NCG. I've been in situations where I've ignored information, and it wasn't fun. Basically any guy that says "I like you, but..." should be written off, at least for the time being. He needs to deal with whatever issues first before he's boyfriend material.okiegrlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-67812952232824395652012-05-29T21:36:23.062+01:002012-05-29T21:36:23.062+01:00True dialogue after messed up relationship:
Third...True dialogue after messed up relationship:<br /><br />Third Party: What were you thinking?<br /><br />Guy: 'Thinking'?Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-84831121221996703512012-05-29T21:05:25.486+01:002012-05-29T21:05:25.486+01:00I'm feeling strident tonight so: it's only...I'm feeling strident tonight so: it's only if he's being un-self-aware or less than honest that I'll let him off the hook for the word "cruel". I think it is objectively a bit cruel if you sit down and say, "I'm not that into this chick, but she's really into me; so we'll have a nice cozy girlfriend-boyfriend relationship while I continue to sigh over my one true love." It IS cruel to do that to someone and then step back when she's unhappy with it and say "I warned you!"<br /><br />But I'm willing to concede most guys aren't quite so hard-hearted, cold-sighted, and utilitarian as that; and probably there is some level of temporary insanity going on. Something like, "if I just could get on with someone else, I'd get over her." In which case, "cruel" may well be a bit strong, but only because of mitigating circumstances.<br /><br />None of which is to deny that the girl -- girls generally, all of us -- really ought to pay more attention and proceed prudently instead of half-consciously going along with a situation that rationally is pretty messed up.<br /><br />(Some people would probably say it *is* cruel for someone struggling with a demon of a disease like alcoholism to drag someone else into it. I won't comment on that, though; I only comment on teenage romance.)Jamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18076215213828545013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-90267935190839094722012-05-29T20:51:23.479+01:002012-05-29T20:51:23.479+01:00Well, I'm not sure it's cruel if he warned...Well, I'm not sure it's cruel if he warned her in advance. That's like dating an alcoholic and arguing he's cruel to drink when really he warned you before you got together. The guys I have an issue with are the ones who are dishonest. but this hapless guy at least told her the truth and assumed she would not agree to be his girlfriend unless she was ok with that situation. It's a bit clueless of him, but I think it's harsh to say cruel. And to be fair, a lot of the blame lands on us women because when guys tell us unpleasant facts, we often ignore them. I say this as someone who has been guilty of this myself - a boy I dated told me he didn't want a relationship and would date me but not be my boyfriend, and I let him. And really, I can't blame him for that - I knew what I was getting into and chose to ignore the facts. Similarly, this boy is a bit of an idiot thinking this wouldn't be a problem, but we girls have to start listening to what men tell us and take them at face value.Marie Louisenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-37405982303084766402012-05-29T20:11:47.674+01:002012-05-29T20:11:47.674+01:00Yep. We don't like to think it, but, yes, he s...Yep. We don't like to think it, but, yes, he so often is. <br /><br />Men simply do not think like women.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-24367385688729895152012-05-29T19:23:14.856+01:002012-05-29T19:23:14.856+01:00Why do we let such guys get away with that??????!!...<i>Why do we let such guys get away with that??????!!!!</i><br /><br />Probably because we don't like to think that Mr Handsome could actually be that stupid and/or cruel? "He managed to get his shoes tied this morning, he can't possibly be so inane as to actually suggest I be his girlfriend when he's hung up on someone else!"Jamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18076215213828545013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-82234926391592530362012-05-29T17:45:49.984+01:002012-05-29T17:45:49.984+01:00Hey Seraphic. Thanks for making sure in your updat...Hey Seraphic. Thanks for making sure in your update that both sides, including guys, know what to not look for when pursuing dating. Good to see you are thinking about us NCB's too!<br />:)<br /><br />YCRCMYoung Canadian RC Malehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14716232749482910081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-77299331770092961452012-05-29T13:46:18.337+01:002012-05-29T13:46:18.337+01:00Young Women, listen to your Aunt Seraphic.Young Women, listen to your Aunt Seraphic.Lenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09173616693453942166noreply@blogger.com