tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post1340106505127218285..comments2023-12-25T11:13:04.495+00:00Comments on Seraphic Singles: Auntie Seraphic & Mistrust MenSeraphichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-8923873044382675702011-05-27T18:51:43.484+01:002011-05-27T18:51:43.484+01:00Re: invisible. I'm talking about teenagers, Al...Re: invisible. I'm talking about teenagers, Alisha, especially those who don't have the confidence to confront badly behaving men, discourage their attention or even to yell if they feel them up on the bus. Many, many, many girls and women simply don't have the confidence and the skills (and the street smarts) to do this until they are older.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-13310669014289057682011-05-26T06:56:13.696+01:002011-05-26T06:56:13.696+01:00I agree with IA, if you really feel strongly about...I agree with IA, if you really feel strongly about it...it just takes a certain kind of tone to be able to pull it off so people won't laugh at your "prudishness"...and in some situations there is no point in letting someone save face - in fact, you shouldn't let them since public humiliation can be a great behaviour modifier.<br />I also agree you should never feel bad about "snubbing" people in public or rejecting forward behaviour - if he has any kind of intelligence and maturity, he'll realize that women have to watch out for their safety first. If he doesn't, there is no loss on your part!<br />"The best thing to be, around complete strangers (like customers at work, or men on the bus) when you are your age, is almost invisible."<br /><br />I have to admit this phrase made me wince somewhat...unless you're talking specifically about how to prevent from being targeted for a crime. Other than that, the idea of making myself invisible is troublesome. I'm not a nothing; I'm a person. That doesn't mean I have to be loud, but if I'm a person that happens to have a "big" presence, I'm not going to shrink that unless I have good reason to do so - ie. charity to a shy person in conversation with me.<br /><br />It's true that there are a lot of good men out there, but I'm not so sure that it's the majority. I'm quite convinced that the majority, while they may mean no harm, don't aim to do much particular good either - they are lukewarm, lack courage and conviction about what is important and are often really very close to the ex-baby stage you speak of, Seraphic. Honestly, I've met very few men as strong or smart as I am - I don't necessarily mean physical strength or just academic ability, obviously - men with whom I get the sense I could safely entrust myself to them in some way. In general, though I like them, as a lot, I don't hold men in high esteem, though there are many of them I respect in particular; sadly, I find most of them to fall really short of greatness. If I want someone really strong, I'll go to a woman before a man any day - with a few exceptions.<br />AlishaAlishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08803069677860028673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-47154072627191942022011-05-25T01:27:13.354+01:002011-05-25T01:27:13.354+01:00For this young woman, and indeed for every woman w...For this young woman, and indeed for every woman who reads this blog, I would most highly recommend the book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. It's a wonderful book by a highly respected professional who has worked with rape and stalking victims, as well as domestic violence victims. The book identifies common tactics that The Bad Guys use to weasel their way into womens' lives, and even potentially to victimize them. It's super empowering to know those tactics, not only because it allows you to spot a baddie a mile off, but also because it helps you identify guys who are just being awkward and don't pose a threat, and to NOT be scared of THEM. It helps you honor and trust your emotions of fear and mistrust, when necessary, but also to recognize and differentiate between fear and paranoia, and to recognize the situations and people who are truly dangerous (and they are not necessarily the ones you see on tv). It really should be required reading for every woman. Go get a copy, friends!fifihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10707768899655106067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-87857778389206098412011-05-24T17:16:52.603+01:002011-05-24T17:16:52.603+01:00I think IA has a good point, but sometimes it'...I think IA has a good point, but sometimes it's actually better to put it on yourself. That way the person might get less defensive. It may indeed be totally inappropriate for all people, but it allows the person to save a little face if he gets to think it's just your particularity.sciencegirlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-29144426801674547152011-05-24T13:02:21.183+01:002011-05-24T13:02:21.183+01:00Rather than "I don't allow such comments&...Rather than "I don't allow such comments" the writer may want to say "those comments are entirely unacceptable." this changes the subject of the sentence from MM to the inappropriate behaviour.IA_noreply@blogger.com