tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post1447535858852828062..comments2023-12-25T11:13:04.495+00:00Comments on Seraphic Singles: A Terrible AddictionSeraphichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-13562495939038928632013-09-23T15:25:00.945+01:002013-09-23T15:25:00.945+01:00Sorry to be late to the conversation, but in the U...Sorry to be late to the conversation, but in the US at least, the millennial generation started with those if us born 1982 so some of us Millennials are 31 at the moment... Just for clarification.... And that Gen Y is another name for Millennials. At least that's what most of my research several years ago tended to stick to - mostly finally all settling on Neil and Strauss's definitions in their book Millennials Rising...<br /><br />I do think the numbers with less are balancing out the ones with more for certain...Allynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-35354483659374694512013-09-21T11:10:50.392+01:002013-09-21T11:10:50.392+01:00Shiraz, I read it and it is helpful. Catholic and ...Shiraz, I read it and it is helpful. Catholic and other kinds of religious girls really have to understand that lots of girls do not just "do it", and that they put one heck of a lot of thought into their decisions. Obviously it's not information we're all privy to. But while religious girls are searching their scriptures and catechisms for loopholes, many non-religious girls are thinking "What is the evidence Scooter is not an immature pig?" <br /><br />But, sadly, if you are describing women over 30, we are talking a different sub-generation from the one currently being bombarded with sex stuff. And in the UK and Ireland there really is a terrible culture of women drinking to excess. I have never seen anything like it anywhere else. <br /><br />Still, perhaps it was not lost on the entire generation that the one and only guy in Hermione's life was Ron, and after it went nowhere with Cho Chang, there was no-one for Harry but Ginny. Oh--I was forgetting the Bulgarian guy. Well, I am sure the Bulgarian guy was a perfect gentleman. And also that Hermione never really quite understand what was going on there anyway. I bet he spent most of their time together talking about Quidditch and how fabulous Bulgaria is. Zzzz.<br /><br />Sheila, this study was about people between 25-44, so I think that meant Gen X and Y, not Millennnials. Jeepers, what did we do before people named generations? Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-33965580581233001432013-09-21T01:48:59.709+01:002013-09-21T01:48:59.709+01:00Remember median means half have less .... and half...Remember median means half have less .... and half have more. My friends are more nerdy/unpopular and if they've slept around a lot, they're not telling. Most likely not. If you're not into the nightclub scene, if you don't get asked on many (or any) dates, you might not have much opportunity. And if you graduate from college a v*rgin (and a surprising number do), then it becomes a thing and you may decide to stay as you are. Because after all, you haven't died yet, your friends are telling you it's no great shakes, so why put out unless it's a really serious relationship?<br /><br />Also: those numbers will include religious people, right? Both serious Catholics and serious Protestants, whose number will be one or none.<br /><br />Incidentally, I think studies show millennials are actually less promiscuous than Gen X or boomers, because we are not risk-takers and we've been raised with the idea in our heads that we Must do things perfectly, or else. If you want to succeed, you can't cut a single class, get a single C, drop an extracurricular, or take any drugs at all. Our parents tended to be concerned, involved, and a bit pushy. We had less time unattended as teenagers than our parents did (because our parents remember what they did with theirs) and often close relationships where we feared to disappoint them. On the whole, we have less s3x, do less drugs, and take on less consumer debt than our parents.<br /><br />Now of course in every bell curve there's a lot of deviation, so if you know a lot of people on one or another end of the spectrum, it doesn't discredit the whole study.Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-67368225995254738982013-09-20T20:52:30.042+01:002013-09-20T20:52:30.042+01:00A bit late so you might not read this Seraphic, bu...A bit late so you might not read this Seraphic, but I have a number of totally-not-religious friends whose numbers are one, or two, or none. And we are over thirty. Not sure if that helps, but I wonder if lots of partners is social group specific? And that religion isn't *necessarily* the thing that determines that social group/normative behaviour?Shiraznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-33417329888469238702013-09-19T09:15:51.746+01:002013-09-19T09:15:51.746+01:00Sinead asked me to edit her comment a bit, so I er...Sinead asked me to edit her comment a bit, so I erased it and reposted it, as that's the only way I can change stuff.<br /><br />There is no denying that RB had a horrible childhood, in some ways, and that it led to the problems of his adult life. I hope I don't come off as condemning of RB because, really, I don't think it's that he's wicked in some way (although he was awful to that actor), it's that he's ill in some very pitiable way. <br /><br />Sin can look all very fun and glamorous (and therefore not really sin) but it is a trap that not everyone gets out of. I feel terrible for people (usually but not just men) who get addicted to internet porn because they first saw it as children. Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-24837136402250753912013-09-19T09:10:24.553+01:002013-09-19T09:10:24.553+01:00Yup. Welcome to the madhouse Seraphic.
It's ...Yup. Welcome to the madhouse Seraphic. <br /><br />It's not lying as much as denial, at least that's how it comes across to me. Only the full monty in a happy fling/relationship counts. As for why they lie well how anonymous are these surveys, how are they conducted? face-to face no name? by email? everyone in a room given a list of questions?, the STD clinic quiz? Someone is going to read them and nobody likes to be judged. I suspect the conscience stings, admitting it to themselves by doing the count, there are three big insults you can lob at a woman nowadays, frigid, lesbian or ... well you know. Plus if you don't admit it then it didn't happen. Maybe. I don't know, it's hard to relate to all this in fairness.<br /><br />I was shocked too when a friend told me about 10 years ago what some girls were doing for security to get into a local nightclub free. Likewise, a conversation that I had to stop mid-flow at lunch one day at work where there was a general agreement at what happens in country (think provincial) nightclubs. Things escalate as easily and it's just like shaking someone's hand. Oh and my sister told me the other day that an article she read somewhere (she didn't say) but that technical virgin is the new thing in America, sodomy doesn't count apparently.<br /><br />You have no idea Seraphic. Someone called me Bambi once because of my horror to the general hobbies of drunk 20 odd year olds. But I have sense enough to see that my reaction was sane. By the way, that culture is quite accepted by people in their 30s. There is little horror, moreso giggling at the walk of shame. <br /><br />I have no idea about men, but I do know that the women who have ONS or flings go for the handsome ones most of the time, especially in college. So I would not be surprised if Average Joe was with less than a half-dozen women.<br /><br />Sorry if all this too much info by the way. Edit away. I swear it's like speaking a foreign language here. Oh drink by the way fuels most of it. Holy Ireland indeed.<br /><br />Sinéad.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-10921459135558012482013-09-19T05:05:57.056+01:002013-09-19T05:05:57.056+01:00I can vouch for Sinead's observations on the U...I can vouch for Sinead's observations on the US side... I haven't heard about the clubs, but I'm much older and more a homebody minus a hubby and kids! <br /><br />Like Sinaed, I too am sorry to break the delicate bubble here... But just last week at dinner with two girlfriends, one was seeking advice on how to ask the guy she was seeing for less than a month if he was sleeping with her exclusively or not. She didn't want to come off as overbearing or high maintanence. <br />As we assured her that she had every right to know, I did say, "It seems like you would have discussed that beforehand." (Very delicately I said it, she knows my standards are different from hers, and respects my position... But still I didn't want to offend her.). Her reply? "Well, not when things get carried away." <br /><br />She's 40 btw, never married, and a couple years ago, took to "recycling" past boyfriends in an effort to not increase her "number" <br /><br />I hear similar reasoning from many women my age and younger. <br /><br />My early 20s catholic niece, who attended 8 years of catholic school (I was very upset when they moved her to public school for high school... The worst time to move to public school! ) lives with her boyfriend and is pregnant, even after she declared she didn't approve of her cousin doing the same thing years before her.<br />Most of her friends were pregnant and unmarried in the years prior. <br />They're not sleeping around, and around.... But they did miss the message in Catholic school obviously. TRShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09801686710086039781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-8365698585845214552013-09-19T03:28:19.502+01:002013-09-19T03:28:19.502+01:00He had a miserable and unprotected childhood, so i...He had a miserable and unprotected childhood, so it's sad, but not unexpected. From an interview in the Times... <br /><br />"He is hugely charismatic and his personal story is compelling. Overcoming heroin addiction, s*x addiction and a troubled upbringing in Essex which included watching his father's p*rn videos at 4, teenage bulimia, expulsions from school and drama college, 11 arrests for petty crime, being s*xually assaulted by a tutor when he was 7 and being taken to visit a pr*stitute at 16."MCN Hobbshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15238275834876326001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-46757995968707180872013-09-19T02:10:21.788+01:002013-09-19T02:10:21.788+01:00Russell Brand??? Eeeewwwwww. I've never unders...Russell Brand??? Eeeewwwwww. I've never understood why some women find him so attractive. He's so feral. And not really that funny anyway. What a slob.<br /><br />"If Russell Brand fixed his glittering, dark-eyed gaze on me at a party (whose?), I would run."<br /><br />If Russell Brand fixed his gaze on me at a party, I would vomit. Or laugh. Oh, Katy Perry, what were you thinking?<br />Julianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-79913937412753353122013-09-19T00:40:21.036+01:002013-09-19T00:40:21.036+01:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-52182233797067232692013-09-19T00:10:07.327+01:002013-09-19T00:10:07.327+01:00Well, scientific studies are supposed to be scient...Well, scientific studies are supposed to be scientific. I don't know why women would lie on anonymous surveys.<br /><br />But I do not know why on earth women would be talking about their sexual adventures on their lunch breaks at work either! Er, Sinead, is this in the holy land of Ireland?<br />Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-1267991177950378072013-09-18T23:41:02.399+01:002013-09-18T23:41:02.399+01:00Definite under-reporting for the women there. I wo...<br />Definite under-reporting for the women there. I would also add, without wanting to get graphic, that intercourse is not the only par for the course activity that occurs in pubs, clubs and at house parties. That would shoot those numbers up. And I know some women who don't count their one-night stands. Or the flings they regret. I'd be looking at women under 30 for all that now. I work with a lot of women by the way, these are not my nearest and dearest pals.<br /><br />SinéadAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-79954901338092634302013-09-18T21:11:41.838+01:002013-09-18T21:11:41.838+01:00Oh, dear. You could be right indeed. These are fig...Oh, dear. You could be right indeed. These are figures for the 25-44 set, and so, yes, the Millenials might be behaving more promiscuously than previous generations. You have had so much less protection than my generation (Gen X/Y)--despite the efforts of JP2 and B16 of course (which only Catholics are likely to have listened to). Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-87259671474350752222013-09-18T20:36:43.964+01:002013-09-18T20:36:43.964+01:00That study under represents a how bad it really is...That study under represents a how bad it really is. Maybe they're lying about their numbers or maybe the millenials are worse than other generations, but I'd say out of my group of friends, most are in the 5-10 range already...and we are under 25! What's worse is that many other people I know but aren't close with are much higher.<br /><br />Here's the sad thing about it: most of the girls start sleeping around because they truly believe there's a chance that it will develop into something more. With every guy that uses them, what little self esteem they had is further eroded until sex has completely lost all of it's meaning and their mistakes are rationalized into legitimate choices ("I'm doing this for me").Emilynoreply@blogger.com