tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post1535229928243951982..comments2023-12-25T11:13:04.495+00:00Comments on Seraphic Singles: Boys Bludgeoned into Making Dates By Their Friends' MomsSeraphichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-55574172731523988302013-08-01T00:41:27.766+01:002013-08-01T00:41:27.766+01:00My fear is that nowadays so many parents want to b...My fear is that nowadays so many parents want to be friends of their kids that they think it's more important to 'comfort' a child (in an unrealistic, ultimately harmfully deluded manner) than to calmly tell them the truth and support them in difficulties. At least that seems to be the case in the situation I described above. I liked your suggestion about the boy not being in a place to realize how fabulous the girl is - it sounds like something a teenage girl mourning an unrequited love needs to hear.Urszulahttp://whereismysuitcase.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-31345859852093807492013-07-31T14:33:04.182+01:002013-07-31T14:33:04.182+01:00Oh, Antigone. That's so sad. But you have to m...Oh, Antigone. That's so sad. But you have to make an impression like a bomb blast for a guy to remember you after he crosses the ocean. Crossing large bodies of water is in some ways like crossing the Lethe, which is why I always recommend international travel to the heartbroken. <br /><br />Oh, Urszula. The insanity has me with my head in my hands. Who are these mothers? Did they marry their high school sweethearts or what? Were their marriages arranged by parents? Do they have any basis for their comforting remarks, or are they just unrooted in reality? As I can't imagine getting between a teenage girl and her consoling mother, I don't know what to say, except, "Maybe he's not in a place right now where he can see how fabulous you are." <br /><br />amlovesmusic, it's not a question of being justified. It's a question of the male psyche. I don't care what you do; I just think you would like it better if he texted you first than if you texted him first and he never replied.<br />Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-55810315213408795852013-07-31T02:29:39.440+01:002013-07-31T02:29:39.440+01:00RE: texting "thank you" after a date:
In...RE: texting "thank you" after a date:<br />In my limited first-date experience, I often get flustered at the end of first dates.......because I never know if there is going to be a kiss involved or not, and if the beer or glass of wine has worn off, I am quite nervous saying goodbye and goodnight. Not being experience in the kissing thing makes me nervous about it, and not all guys kiss on the first date, so I can't always expect it. So I usually text afterwards "thank you" because I can never remember if I managed to mutter out a thank-you at the end. To me that is justified.<br /><br />Now, what about texting men who are friends, but may be interested in something more, but you're not sure? I try not to text first as a rule, but occasionally I will.amlovesmusicnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-75017559417569558502013-07-31T01:46:17.234+01:002013-07-31T01:46:17.234+01:00Life is so much easier if you just accept that men...Life is so much easier if you just accept that men will like who they want to like and do what they want to do. If they want to text or call you, they will. if they want to ask you out, they will. I feel I wasted half of my life secondguessing men or attempting to convince myself that they were interested when they weren't.<br /><br />This just to second the thought expressed in your last paragraph. <br /><br />Another question - what if you know a mom of a teenage daughter who encourages general foolishness on the part of the daughter, and you are in the capacity of 'trusted advisor' or aunt-like figure? I know a case where a mom kept trying to 'comfort' her daughter by telling her that yes, her teenage crush object was interested in her but just didn't know how to express it, and even agreed to go talk to his parents (!) to see if he could return her daughter's affection. Is there any way to stop such insanity?Urszulahttp://whereismysuitcase.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-25330060635896452972013-07-30T22:43:47.408+01:002013-07-30T22:43:47.408+01:00This post is great timing. Earlier this year I me...This post is great timing. Earlier this year I met a sweet, funny, and good looking man---a few weeks before he left the country on a two year commitment. I could tell he was taken with me and we went out a few times (all initiated by him and no hanky panky beyond a couple very nice good-bye kisses). <br /><br />He told me more than once that he couldn't believe he was meeting someone like me right before he had to leave and asked if I might feel comfortable visiting him at some point. His last words were an unprompted promise to be in touch with me. That was in early May.<br /><br />I haven't heard from him since that day. I know not to write or text him, and after this much time I've (mostly) given up. But, as I wrote, sweet, funny, and good looking... <br /><br />What happened? <br /><br />(And, sigh, I know I opened myself up to this by agreeing to go on the dates even knowing he was leaving the country. But I was really taken with this guy, too, and that's not usual for me.)<br />Antigone in NYCnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-19870154099655295502013-07-30T22:36:35.015+01:002013-07-30T22:36:35.015+01:00I'm just cringing vicariously on that invite! ...I'm just cringing vicariously on that invite! "Mrs X told me to call you, so I'm calling you. Wanna get coffee?" <br /><br />Talk about sweeping a girl off her feet! ;-P It sounds like she really has a great attitude and is a great date, though. <br /><br />I am writing down your line about "She's such a card-- what a character! And by the way she told me [X] about you." <br /><br />(And you are also right about guys who will drop everything and move to the ends of the earth, for the right girl. This should also be engraved or embroidered on something!)Jackienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-58660475192692088612013-07-30T22:07:07.130+01:002013-07-30T22:07:07.130+01:00Oh, maybe it's an urban British/European thing...Oh, maybe it's an urban British/European thing or a Young and Old Fogess thing. "Mwah...mwah..See you later, dahhhling!" <br /><br />I kiss any number of charming young men on the cheek, but now that I think about it, maybe I didn't do that in Toronto. Trying to rememberrrrr....<br /><br />Well, if this would be TOO MUCH outside the UK and Continental Europe, don't do that. Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-43329324929929631682013-07-30T19:54:12.879+01:002013-07-30T19:54:12.879+01:00Wait, wait, wait! Girl kissing boy on cheek after ...Wait, wait, wait! Girl kissing boy on cheek after first/second date? How is this Auntie-permissible? Hmmm. Confused. Is this a being-charming thing? Sorry if that's a stupid question...confused lurkernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-30463718299918551292013-07-30T16:07:48.731+01:002013-07-30T16:07:48.731+01:00My dear girl. Surely you thank the man at the time...My dear girl. Surely you thank the man at the time and in person? "Thanks for dinner! I had a great time!" Then you kiss his soft (or bristly, I suppose, by 11 PM) cheek and toddle indoors, leaving him feeling all gratifed on the doorstep.<br /><br />The exception is if he invited you do a dinner party and cooked. Then you may post him a card.<br /><br />No texting boys first. Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-59183588181841815822013-07-30T15:58:50.528+01:002013-07-30T15:58:50.528+01:00Why no texting first after a date? Isn't it th...Why no texting first after a date? Isn't it the more casual equivalent of a thank-you note? It seems like if a man has organized a meeting with you, and bought you food and tea, a quick text saying "Thank you for the tea! I had a lovely time!" is just good manners...<br /><br />What if one doesn't particularly care what the man does next, but just want to be polite?Cordinoreply@blogger.com