tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post1898282090484902886..comments2023-12-25T11:13:04.495+00:00Comments on Seraphic Singles: Last Week: 5. Rooted in RealitySeraphichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-69043349501283939202014-08-17T23:37:42.700+01:002014-08-17T23:37:42.700+01:00In response to Stellamaris's comment; yes I ca...In response to Stellamaris's comment; yes I can totally identify with jealousy, it's hard for me to stomach those narcissistic FB posts that essentially scream "look at me and my full life" knowing full well that these people in no way ascribe to Catholic sexual morality. <br />In my own expereince, however, I've seen that some of these people--who, say, buy a house with their boyfriend--encounter nightmarish financial/psychological train wrecks when the relationship fails.<br />And I would not trade places even with those people who've 'broken the rules' and seem to live full, stable lives--particularly regarding contraception--since such a lifestyle really will place a person's soul in jeopardy; "for what does it profit a man to gain the whole world if he should suffer the loss of his soul."<br />That being said, it takes a LOT of detachment to truly have peace of mind regarding my single state. For example I have a mother who a) thinks that living in sin is white-trash, b) disagrees with contraception, and c) thinks that a woman is a pitiable nobody who hasn't been married by the age of 25. It's nearly inconceivable, given the state of the culture, that I could really have achieved (c) without committing (a) or (b). And she represents only ONE of the unbelievable attitudes I've encountered regarding sex/marriage/single women from priests, parishoners, and 'well-meaning' relatives. <br />Fortunately, I've discovered Jesus not to be so insular as the average Catholic, which is how I continue to justify being at Church. <br />Well there's my 2 cents. <br />Really enjoy your blog, Dorothy. Funny to have just discovered it during your last week! Have enjoyed reading back through the posts! Meghttp://www.pinkladygala.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-7534414270591997662014-08-16T20:07:48.885+01:002014-08-16T20:07:48.885+01:00Dear Sunny! What a generous gift! Yes, I got it. T...Dear Sunny! What a generous gift! Yes, I got it. Thank you very much. I will probably buy books with it! In fact, I have my eye on a big Polish dictionary.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-53261968018074805192014-08-16T17:50:57.223+01:002014-08-16T17:50:57.223+01:00I agree completely with Leah! There are a lot of (...I agree completely with Leah! There are a lot of ("uber") Catholic circles where sexual sin outweighs and overshadows just about every other sin in the book. Who cares if you are greedy or mean or proud or angry, so long as you aren't living lustfully! It's really out of balance.<br /><br />Congrats, sciencegirl!<br /><br />And Seraphic, if you can write up your 'alternative ending' for a different place, I'm sure we'll all flock to read it. Your words of wisdom will be missed over here - I can't count the number of times I now say, "bless his heart" and remind myself that I must contend with reality itself rather than a figment of my own imagination. Thank you for sharing your time and talent with us (without any 'treasure' as a reward!) over the years.MaryJanenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-59077431248003802742014-08-16T17:07:27.686+01:002014-08-16T17:07:27.686+01:00Seraphic,
Tried buying from your Amacon.co.uk wis...Seraphic,<br /><br />Tried buying from your Amacon.co.uk wish list but I needed your delivery address! Have sent an Amazon gift certificate to your yahoo email instead. Hope you receive it. <br />Sunnysaffernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-34135628957464246722014-08-16T16:19:34.351+01:002014-08-16T16:19:34.351+01:00Yes, I have looked. I have an amazon.com AND an am...Yes, I have looked. I have an amazon.com AND an amazon.co.uk one. I think the amazon.co.uk one is better, in that stuff is more likely to come to my Scottish home than to my parents in Canada! I'm under McLean and I have a wee photo.<br /><br />St Ignatius forbade the first Jesuits demanding payment for their work, but he was definitely okay with presents.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-39650549365766567762014-08-16T15:39:06.483+01:002014-08-16T15:39:06.483+01:00Thank you, Sunny! Oh, Lordy. PayPal. Remember pass...Thank you, Sunny! Oh, Lordy. PayPal. Remember passwords and all that is so hard. Maybe I have an Amazon gift list? I most definitely have an Amazon account...Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-9833664172176140012014-08-16T14:13:47.528+01:002014-08-16T14:13:47.528+01:00"Julia-I'm not sure why seem to think tha..."Julia-I'm not sure why seem to think that saying A is a less serious sin than B = go ahead and commit A? We're supposed to try to avoid all sin, not just the most serious ones."<br /><br />Well, Leah, the real is issue is that I'm honestly not convinced that, in this particular case, A is objectively a less serious sin than B, or that it's a different sin than B. Individual culpability may vary, but essentially it's the same objective sin.<br /><br />"Auntie Seraphic's audience (at least from what I've seen) is more likely to say 'OH MY GOSH, we've made a mistake and slept together and now our marriage is going to be ruined forever because we didn't wait until our wedding night', than 'Oh goody, Auntie Seraphic says we can sleep together.' <br /><br />And frankly, someone in these uber-Catholic/Christian circles needs be saying look, sexual sin is not the end of the world. Seriously. You're a human being, not a chewed on wad of gum. Go to confession and try again. Which is what the Church teaches, not 'OMG, you had premarital sex? Now you're ruined forever and you'll never be happy.'"<br /><br />I agree with all of that.<br />Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992516879346846271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-67894528692759052162014-08-16T13:17:11.258+01:002014-08-16T13:17:11.258+01:00Seraphic,
I too want to express my immense gratit...Seraphic,<br /><br />I too want to express my immense gratitude for all you have done for us singles over the years. I am sooo much more seraphic about being single and than I was when I started reading your blog, many years ago now. I will continue to tell myself "stay rooted in reality" and to say "bless his little heart" to any man I meet. <br /><br />I have also learnt a great deal from the incredibly wise readers of this blog - so thanks to you all too!<br /><br />I would love to give you a parting gift to say thanks - would you consider putting your Paypal link back just for a short time?<br /><br />Oh and I second the suggestion of how to deal with envy. I find I avoid it when I am prepared but it rears its ugly green head when I least expect it.Sunnysaffernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-18935868445075771692014-08-16T11:50:28.170+01:002014-08-16T11:50:28.170+01:00I'll leave it up for awhile. I probably won...I'll leave it up for awhile. I probably won't shut it down unless I use my material here for another book.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-31500369092610980192014-08-16T11:50:21.044+01:002014-08-16T11:50:21.044+01:00I'll leave it up for awhile. I probably won...I'll leave it up for awhile. I probably won't shut it down unless I use my material here for another book.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-90596368643298888242014-08-16T11:36:40.622+01:002014-08-16T11:36:40.622+01:00Hooray, sciencegirl! Best wishes to you for a ser...Hooray, sciencegirl! Best wishes to you for a seraphic married life. :)<br /><br />Auntie, I've been rereading some old posts this week and it was so good to go back and reread the wise advice (and other readers' great input). I know I said it before, but thank you again - a hundred times over - for so many years of generously hosting this blog and sharing with us the lessons you have learned. While I intend to follow you elsewhere, you have made this a very special forum and community. I will miss it.<br /><br />How - or will - we be able to access this once it closes? I've been rereading old posts, and would truly miss it if I could not refresh myself on your points of wisdom.<br /><br />Again, my prayers go with you into your new endeavors! May the Lord bless you always for how much you have blessed us.Domestic Divanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-30791343234850004492014-08-16T01:08:23.261+01:002014-08-16T01:08:23.261+01:00Julia-I'm not sure why seem to think that sayi...Julia-I'm not sure why seem to think that saying A is a less serious sin than B = go ahead and commit A? We're supposed to try to avoid all sin, not just the most serious ones. <br /><br />Auntie Seraphic's audience (at least from what I've seen) is more likely to say 'OH MY GOSH, we've made a mistake and slept together and now our marriage is going to be ruined forever because we didn't wait until our wedding night', than 'Oh goody, Auntie Seraphic says we can sleep together.' <br /><br />And frankly, someone in these uber-Catholic/Christian circles needs be saying look, sexual sin is not the end of the world. Seriously. You're a human being, not a chewed on wad of gum. Go to confession and try again. Which is what the Church teaches, not 'OMG, you had premarital sex? Now you're ruined forever and you'll never be happy.' <br /><br />I think Auntie Seraphic is spot-on, and I find her practical wisdom refreshing and so wonderfully helpful.Leahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-42801143290860509852014-08-15T23:55:49.984+01:002014-08-15T23:55:49.984+01:00Just soaking up everything in your final posts, Se...Just soaking up everything in your final posts, Seraphic. . . I second what Sinead said, what is the "alternate ending" if Seraphic had remained a Seraphic Single?<br /><br />Congratulations and best wishes to Sciencegirl & her fiance on their engagement!Kate Phttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03555660993363611776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-28040090583956406812014-08-15T23:47:16.670+01:002014-08-15T23:47:16.670+01:00Cindy addressed "Others are Getting Away with...Cindy addressed "Others are Getting Away with Sin" on her blog:http://theveilofchastity.com/2012/11/30/7-myths-singles-must-resist-myth-1/<br /><br />I can't wait to see Seraphic's thoughts too. Sad that we are approaching the final post though.<br /><br /> Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992516879346846271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-50108521251658005072014-08-15T23:32:18.100+01:002014-08-15T23:32:18.100+01:00Excellent post, Seraphic.
What Stellamris, JaneL ...Excellent post, Seraphic.<br /><br />What Stellamris, JaneL and AnonJustThisOnce are talking about is part of the reason why I chucked a hissy yesterday. I deleted my final comment, but the upshot was that engaged couples don't need more of an excuse to justify their non-Magisterium-following ways (such as by reading here that Seraphic thinks that premarital sex between engaged couples is not as bad as premarital sex between other couples.)<br /><br />To conclude, sincere congratulations to ScienceGirl and her fiancé!Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992516879346846271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-61631714934668981622014-08-15T22:52:08.780+01:002014-08-15T22:52:08.780+01:00Sciencegirl! You got engaged!?!Sciencegirl! You got engaged!?!Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-42119408752384219522014-08-15T22:32:46.597+01:002014-08-15T22:32:46.597+01:00Oh, yes, envy. Are there any women who *aren'...Oh, yes, envy. Are there any women who *aren't* envious? (If so, I envy them!) I envy my childless friends for their free time, while they envy me my children. Then we both turn around and envy the single people who get to travel the world, and the older people who are richer than us, and just everyone!<br /><br />I think maybe it's because it is impossible to have it all, and so of course we wish for what we can't have. But also there's the frustration that we DO make lots of sacrifices for our faith, and those don't get paid off in any way we can see.Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-62412235769599621622014-08-15T22:29:14.016+01:002014-08-15T22:29:14.016+01:00I'll miss your great writing on the single lif...I'll miss your great writing on the single life, but I am excited to see your next project. <br /><br />I found it funny that you announced the eminent end of this blog the very week I got engaged. It has been a great source of fun and enlightenment for me during my single years, and I'm grateful for all your thoughts over the years.<br /><br />Whatever your final post, I'm sure it will be good too!sciencegirlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-85949717802902632132014-08-15T22:23:27.544+01:002014-08-15T22:23:27.544+01:00Thank you for kind words! And it's a great top...Thank you for kind words! And it's a great topic. I have been thinking about it all day!Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-34184329765023332752014-08-15T21:10:58.310+01:002014-08-15T21:10:58.310+01:00Stellamaris brings up an intriguing question. Let ...Stellamaris brings up an intriguing question. Let me give an example<br /><br />I know quite a few women who were ostensibly "good catholics", however they compromised on premarital sex and contraception because they knew their particular guys would be devoted to them regardless of what they did(i.e. did not see them as objects but as persons but sin has been compartmentalized into their lives) and they now live ostensibly happy lives with devoted husbands and kids, albeit closed off from the graces associated with an openness to life. The whole thing seems mightily unfair to the woman who has lived chastely.JaneLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-15779380880354691342014-08-15T18:35:52.202+01:002014-08-15T18:35:52.202+01:00So many good things this week! I love the "c...So many good things this week! I love the "concentrated advice" - sad the blog is ending but glad it's going out on this stuff. :-) <br /><br />Thanks again.<br />~NzieNziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05611004371935380366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-3008530599199370662014-08-15T18:12:36.745+01:002014-08-15T18:12:36.745+01:00I agree that a piece about dealing with jealousy w...I agree that a piece about dealing with jealousy would be great. It often feels like a heavy burden that friends -- some of whom didn't follow Church teachings on sex -- are already married, as years go and I remain single. <br /><br />fwiw, I found your book wonderful and have recommended it to many others ... there are plenty of books out there about how to get a guy, but yours was the first resource I found for living joyfully -- albeit with hope for marriage in the future -- in the now. really appreciated it. anonymousjustthisoneceplease?noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-88663521865689175602014-08-15T17:09:03.306+01:002014-08-15T17:09:03.306+01:00Second the motion, Stellamaris!
Seraphic, thank y...Second the motion, Stellamaris!<br /><br />Seraphic, thank you for writing this blog! It has really been a much-needed reminder to "be rooted in reality"--four words that sum up what I've learned from your wise and witty advice. <br /><br />I'm going to miss settling down to read the daily post over cup of coffee in the morning--and almost as much as the posts I will<br />miss the comments--from Pearlmusic and Sciencegirl and Stellamaris and Domestic Diva--oh, boo hoo hoo!<br /><br />Now I'm going to have to go buy Seraphic Singles the book. Amusednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-73377573792589689852014-08-15T17:08:04.255+01:002014-08-15T17:08:04.255+01:00
What would you have planned for your life had you...<br />What would you have planned for your life had you never met BA? What do you think you would you be doing now? <br /><br />I will miss your blog Seraphic.<br /><br />Sinéad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-90597182919762590652014-08-15T15:20:14.810+01:002014-08-15T15:20:14.810+01:00Oooh, I know!
I think the very hardest and most ...Oooh, I know! <br /><br />I think the very hardest and most painful thing I fight as a Single is jealousy. How come there are others leading lives of debauchery and are perfectly happy with them, while I struggle to do the right thing and hate it? How come some of them even manage to find a spouse (partner) and maybe have children, and I don't? <br /><br />It's a bit difficult to argue suffering leads to sin when it so obviously doesn't in many cases. It appears that plenty of people manage to escape any pain from their sins while I suffer from my attempts at virtue. Any tips on how to handle that in a Christian manner would be very helpful! Stellamarisnoreply@blogger.com