tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post2139698581432923748..comments2023-12-25T11:13:04.495+00:00Comments on Seraphic Singles: Taking LibertiesSeraphichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-15431578540413079822011-06-20T23:29:32.796+01:002011-06-20T23:29:32.796+01:00I suppose, though, if a male friend were distraugh...I suppose, though, if a male friend were distraught and needed my wisdom or my ear or a cup of tea or whatever else, it wouldn't be too strange if he came over, although really I cannot imagine any of our male friends rushing to me in a crisis. To the grocery store for a bottle of brandy, yes. To me, no.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-36500988624692831642011-06-20T23:24:19.615+01:002011-06-20T23:24:19.615+01:00Well, I cannot think of a good reason for my husba...Well, I cannot think of a good reason for my husband's friends to come and visit me when he is not here. It would make much more sense for them to come by when he IS here. I live out in the middle of 80+ acres after all. It's not like they could be out shopping and think, "I want a cup of tea. Why not just drop in at Seraphic's and have a cup of tea?" <br /><br />As for propriety, I guess it would be mine that would be offended. (She scratches her head.) Mine or my mother's. I may be operating from a Family Script--you know, where you assume things are the way your mother assumed things the way her mother assumed things. And in turn of the century Scotland, I am guessing here, men did not usually drop on the Missus. <br /><br />I guess it wouldn't be a big deal in modern times. Hmm. Let me ask B.A.<br /><br />***<br />B.A. says it isn't unusual for a single modern Scottish man to drop by on a married woman at home, but it would be unusual for our Catholic set. It's not a self-conscious sort of thing; we're just kind of old-fashioned. It just wouldn't occur to us. <br /><br />B.A. also points out that almost all my male friends in Edinburgh were his friends first. If it were a particular friend of mine, someone I met before B.A. did, then it would be more normal for him to drop by. And any such male friend who came to see me (me in particular) would probably be a blood relation or a priest. That said, we would think it odd if a male friend visited ONLY when B.A. wasn't at home. <br /><br />We spent some time frowning over this question. "It's just not done," said B.A, at last. "And that's just as descriptive as it is prescriptive."Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-11604811685685349482011-06-20T15:20:18.113+01:002011-06-20T15:20:18.113+01:00Just one question: I don't totally get the pro...Just one question: I don't totally get the propriety issue involving your/your husband's male friends. Whose sense of propriety would be offended by them visiting while your husband is away? Isn't there a presumption in there that something unsavory could happen if they came by without your husband to supervise? Seems sort of strange to me. Just curious.Josienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-33052416013827637142011-06-19T08:11:47.082+01:002011-06-19T08:11:47.082+01:00Thank you - good advice. :)
And CB, I found th...Thank you - good advice. :) <br /><br />And CB, I found the comment about the spear hilarious. :D<br /><br />I have a few more safety recommendations for situations with unknowns/uncomfortables: <br />- Have a network of friends ready to call if you're alone and uncomfortable/it's late. I have friends I can call and a guy friend from church who lives near-ish will walk me home if I need it.<br />- If someone's chatting you up and it's not a good situation/you're not interested, make a firm, "No," early, and if they don't take it, stay in/get to a well-lit public area ASAP.<br />- Get out or atleast on the phone the minute you get an inappropriate question or comment (whether it's just too personal or obscene).<br />- If you're not sure a situation is safe, draw attention to it - you can just be loud or, if necessary, scream. <br /><br />be safe, ladies. :)Nziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05611004371935380366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-21625680291708683262011-06-18T18:50:44.360+01:002011-06-18T18:50:44.360+01:00Most of what you say in this and other posts is si...Most of what you say in this and other posts is simply common sense. It seems incredible that girls need to be told these things. But since it apparently does need saying, I'm very thankful that you're doing so. <br /><br />And I will second the importance and utility of the "invisible cloak of reserve." I'm not sure that mine was fueled by an air of "I'll rip your face off" since my personal aura was more towards the "demure young maiden" end of the spectrum. (Well, except for the incident with the six foot spear.) But I was told by my female classmates that the males of our acquaintance were better behaved and used cleaner language around me than around most others.Catholic Bibliophagisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10697706672495544901noreply@blogger.com