tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post8380117470456647937..comments2023-12-25T11:13:04.495+00:00Comments on Seraphic Singles: Auntie Seraphic and the HFCWG QuestionSeraphichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-59033347644296030832010-06-24T23:34:40.790+01:002010-06-24T23:34:40.790+01:00I found this article helpful and formative for the...I found <a href="http://www.cfalive.org/ccourtship3.htm" rel="nofollow">this article</a> helpful and formative for the HFCWG question. The background on the site is awful, so I copied into Microsoft Word. :)Sylviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06221464682706193091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-70757955267557120052010-06-24T20:19:16.019+01:002010-06-24T20:19:16.019+01:00I thought about this article and laughed today at ...I thought about this article and laughed today at the library -- on the "new book" shelf there was one about the "Elements" of love. The cover was decorated with different earth element type things: water, fire, etc. I can't remember the title exactly, but a quick google search shows there's dissent, at least among the internet community, on whether there are four or five elements of love. ;)<br />So much rhetoric just to get to the main point: self-sacrificing love is the only kind that lasts!Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08435555064199584507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-80636337778856430322010-06-24T13:18:42.676+01:002010-06-24T13:18:42.676+01:00I agree -- while the love language info can be use...I agree -- while the love language info can be useful, it *would* be bonkers to have a discussion on it in 'the earliest stages of a dating relationship.' And yes, the book is geared to married folk. I should say that imho, love language info can also be useful in one's familial relationships -- that's what I was thinking of when I wrote the 'useful' bit. For example, I found out this past year that my younger brother prefers gifts and to hang out with family/friends - that's what communicates ILY to him. Me: GREAT! That's what I'll give him,instead of giving him what I thought he wanted, b/c I'd rather do whatever helps him know I love him.MargoBnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-76813895776257758832010-06-23T20:03:31.162+01:002010-06-23T20:03:31.162+01:00I don't know anything about the Chestertons, b...I don't know anything about the Chestertons, but I think it's perfectly reasonable to think she gave him nothing but a few hours of private conversation and maybe a very little handholding. Of course, it depends much on where you're talking about and "what sort of people" (to throw a little moral gloss over the usual metric of class), but before WWI, I think the real question is how much time alone together would a particular couple get, which is what would govern any sort of physical contact. Among some working class communities, on the other hand, I understand it was perfectly accepted that couples got married (if they got married) when the man could afford it or when the girl got pregnant, whichever came first. Much of the difficulty surrounding family benefits and working class women during WWI arose out of this, where a woman might not be a legal wife, or where a baby was born out of wedlock because the man had been shipped out and not because of any particular intention not to marry between the parents.Jamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18076215213828545013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-54540193033442692942010-06-23T18:32:00.024+01:002010-06-23T18:32:00.024+01:00I think discussing "love languages" righ...I think discussing "love languages" right in the earliest stages of a dating relationship is bonkers. The man wrote this book, if I read this right, FOR MARRIED COUPLES.<br /><br />However, I see nothing wrong with reading the book and stealthily watching your suitor(s) to see if they fit any of the Love Language patterns.Seraphichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06251504033428511090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-12073809830872122162010-06-23T17:49:30.075+01:002010-06-23T17:49:30.075+01:00Hello Seraphic! I got to grow up around some fine...Hello Seraphic! I got to grow up around some fine Protestant folks, and we listened to/got periodicals from a fine Christian group originating here in the States called "Focus on the Family."<br /><br />Here's a link to "the Love Languages" according to the source I learned it from (Chapman's book):<br />http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/ <br /><br />I think that knowing someone's love language can be useful information. What do you think?MargoBnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-60748197557377344682010-06-23T17:46:30.264+01:002010-06-23T17:46:30.264+01:00Before they were engaged, Frances gave Gilbert... ...Before they were engaged, Frances gave Gilbert... <br />... an impression of caterpillary fuzziness...<br />... a glance to set his heart aflame...<br />... an answer in the affirmative.<br /><br />The first two you can read about <a href="http://americanchestertonsociety.blogspot.com/2007/06/june-28th.html" rel="nofollow">here</a>. The third... well, that's me being silly, and obvious.<br /><br />I can't really tell --- maybe someone else knows better? --- but I've a vague fancy the notably-hatted Juno-like creature and Miss Caterpillar may be different views of one and the same figure, and it took a second acquaintance for Gilbert to properly recognize the moment of things.some guy on the streethttp://epistle-null.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-21115457272263497702010-06-23T17:31:33.706+01:002010-06-23T17:31:33.706+01:00Er... why not "If you have to ask me, yoursel...Er... why not "If you have to ask me, yourself, or your priest, the answer is probably a resounding 'No'"?<br /><br />Secular sex-ed classes that try to encourage girls to wait use that to impress upon young women that they shouldn't have sex if unsure of the decision. As a good common-sense guideline, why not extend that to everything else?theobromophilenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6905236167079601771.post-2500744762757606172010-06-23T17:19:46.445+01:002010-06-23T17:19:46.445+01:00Hi Seraphic,
I think your reaction to HFCWG quest...Hi Seraphic,<br /><br />I think your reaction to HFCWG questions is certainly a good one: ultimately, all HFCWG questions are the WRONG kind of question when it comes to being chaste, which is a positive, not a negative, virtue. While I disagree with you insofar as I don't think the massage question falls into HFCWG territory, your rationale seems sound. <br /><br />I did think your reaction to "love language" talk was hilarious. The "5 Love Languages" is a shtick that Gary Chapman came up with to help married couples understand each other. I have heard some married couples swear by it, and when I was engaged (back before I wandered out to Serious Single territory), I think my fiancee and I did benefit from understanding that she appreciated quality time the most, while I appreciated affection (we were unified in placing gift-giving last!).<br /><br />The trick, then (according to Chapman), is to give your spouse what SHE/HE wants, not what YOU would want to get. But I've never thought that a man might use the Love Languages as a gambit for physical contact (quod Deus avertat!); I suppose anything is possible. I am amused a little bit at your reaction, though, because I think that I am rare among American men in valuing affection most of all, both from men and women, as signs of love. But I think many American (at least) men are stand-offish and do not readily accept affection from anyone, male or female. So I am not sure if I agree with your assessment, but, then again, maybe we're comparing apples (affection in general) to pears (sexually-charged affection).Pedantic Classicistnoreply@blogger.com