Okay, hello. I did not exactly have an avalanche of Thanksgiving emails yesterday! But perhaps those playing the Singles' Thanksgiving Survival Game did not know they were supposed to email, so the combox is open for American readers' Thanksgiving dinner stories and reports. So far it seems that the families of American are learning not to pick on Singles for their Singleness, at least at Thanksgiving dinner.
Kate P gets two points, not for watching her sister snuggle and worrying she'll become like her flaky Single aunt, but for her uncle's girlfriend's needlings. I considered taking one away because Kate P dissed her Single aunt, but there is no evidence she did this out loud. If she did, one point to Kate P, and one to her aunt.
Cordi gets a point because her three-year old cousin asked her if her brother was her boyfriend.
Anyone else?
I was not sick yesterday. (Someone is worried about my unusual Friday silence.) I was just very busy.
Update: Say, some of you have been hatin' on my future Queen because of her one-time-only see-through dress. Listen. I have had a look at this see-through dress and anyone who has ever worn a bikini cannot throw stones. The outfit, which the then Miss Middleton wore in a charity fashion show, is basically a bandeau bikini and with a super-fancy cover-up. I would not have worn it myself when I was 20 and squishy, but I definitely would have, for a charity fashion show, when I was 26 and wiry. (I would not have worn a bikini, as I found out when my then-perfect body and I went to Bikini Village to buy one and I chickened right out.) A fashion show is a fashion show. It is like being in a play. I wonder if ex-thespian B.A. was ever naked on stage? Let me yell out.
Oooh! He says he was once on stage clad only in a pair of boxer shorts. Well, I never.
Anyway, my point about dressing like the Duchess of Cambridge was to dress the way she does now. I wish all British girls did because, listen, some of them actually wear bikini-like outfits to clubs, even minus the super-fancy cover-up. And naturally you should not live with a man for years while you both dither about whether you should get married or not, even if the press did chase his mother around until she died rather horribly in a paparazzi-caused car crash.
16 comments:
No points for me! I don't know if I should be relieved or disappointed.
I'm Canadian. Even on Canadian Thanksgiving we don't do the big stressful family thing. Check back on Boxing Day.
I request a single point for being asked if I have 'anyone special' by the 60-year-old guest of my friend's parents, i.e. someone of absolutely no relation to me.
Two things that made this rather startling to me:
- I have never in my life been asked this at Thanksgiving before.
- The person doing the asking had never met me before Thanksgiving dinner, making it extra not-her-business.
Big goose egg here-- huzzah! It was just a lovely family get-together where the topics discussed were art, music and politics. It's the other 364 days of the year when I get "well meaning" people giving me gems like suggesting I wait around for an elderly widower or tell me to give up wheat to lose weight faster! ;-P
Seraphic, I do apologize-- I didn't realize my questions about the Duchess qualified as hating! She seems like a lovely person who faces unthinkable scrutiny with grace and poise!
Living together before marriage is a very public statement, in my observation. And if --especially if!-- a US public person who sets a national tone does it, I speak out as well.
The reason I do so is this:
There is SO MUCH pressure on girls and women. There is so much *expectation* that is set by the culture. To sleep together, to live together, to wait around on some guy. It creates an entitlement mentality that hurts both women and men, in my opinion.
I see you, your blog and books as voices against this. I believe it is a reason why many of us are here! When a woman old enough to be my mom (who got married in a Catholic ceremony and has an RCIA daughter) tells me that the church's standards are not possible, I can point them your way. When I talk to friends who feel immense pressure to "keep" a guy, I can send them a link to here. When culture is telling me that "everyone" has certain standards, I can say NOT TRUE, check this out.
So, you see, it is out of my high regard for you and your work that I respond this way. Peace, Seraphic--
I had a very relaxed Thanksgiving with my parents, siblings, and 2 of my parents' friends, a couple their age. The husband did ask my sister and I if we "had any boys chasing us", but everyone was much more interested in our dental hygienist studies. All in all, it was a lovely day with no single angst. :-)
No points for me either, but then I wasn't expecting any. With only immediate family around, and 4 of the 5 of us being of marriageable age but still single, we all pretty much keep our mouths shut on the topic. :)
No awkward single-status questions or remarks were made to me, but only immediate family were gathered together and they are usually nice to me.
(Well, maybe I get 1/2 a point for all of them reminiscing about something a 5-year-old cousin said to me two years ago: "Jessi, when are you gonna get yourself a LOVER BOY?")
Only myself, parents, brother and young neighbors at my dinner... My mother merely mentioned she had a feeling that soon I'd meet someone. So, only one point? Perhaps folks are used to my marital status now.
My family doesn't usually bother me or any other single person about their status. I think I've fielded the "special person" question once or twice in my twenties, but not so much since then. My 9 years younger sister did mention that she is seeing someone who she thinks she might want to marry, but it was more of a confidence in an older sister than a lording it over anyone.
ladywisdom
I had a lovely Thanksgiving with my parents, 2 sisters, their 2 foreign grad student friends and another friend plus boyfriend whose families were out of town. All in all, a rather interesting crew, aged 21-24, and the topic of my singleness never once came up. Perhaps because my parents never want me to date again if it ends like it did last time...
I don't get any points for this, but I did find it amusing that the homosexual man at the party was the one to tell me I looked nice, and not as old as I am.
Do comments like "you never know where you'll meet someone special!" count? If so, I get two points.
Dear Auntie Seraphic, just so I am clear, HOW did I "dis" my single aunt?
I would like a chance to be heard and set the record straight, please.
Oh Kate P, you said you were worried about becoming your Maiden Aunt in 20 years. On the other hand, now that I look more closely at your comment, you were worried for a whole day that she would criticize you in some way. But in that case, why are you worried you will become like her?
Oh Mary Jane. Of course it was. Gay men never seem to be afraid of saying things like that. Gay men often say absolutely charming things to women that are either insightful, kindly or mean absolutely nothing, whereas men who are attracted to women are often frightened to say something, because it might be the wrong thing, and that would MATTER.
One must always remember that there are men who forget how to speak when they find themselves in front of a woman. Their minds literally go blank, poor things. I think it's akin to elephants regarding mice running around their big elephant feet.
Oh, I see what you are saying--I meant more in the way that she went from doting auntie when I was a child to criticizing aunt when I became an adult. You can check my archives for a few examples. I don't want to do that to my niece & nephews when they're grown. (Not as in, "I hope I die before I become a single lady over 50." Sorry for the confusion.)
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