Poppets, if you are European this is a terribly late post for Sunday, but I have been out all day at Mass and then socializing with Singles both Serious and, er, somewhat stuck. So instead of writing a long post, here are four quotes for you to ponder. Three are from Susan Annette Muto, whose book really is good, even if you don't agree with everything (as I don't), and one is by Blaise Paschal, found also in Celebrating the Single Life:
"Loneliness slowly turns into solitude when I recommit myself to the Lord and enjoy his company."
There are two "either/or extremes that often tempt singles: either too much withdrawal or too much involvement."
"There is a reason for one's being single. The challenge of a lifetime is to discover what that is."
--Susan Annette Muto
"The sole cause of man's unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room."
--Blaise Paschal
4 comments:
I don't recall Blaise spelt with an 'h' before; and I come across his name with some frequency, as mathematics often finds new fruit on ancient trees --- on the other hand, my track-record for spelling memory is already smirched commenting on earlier posts, so don't mind me...
I think Muto rings rather more true here; I also find Pascal's more famous theological proposition (the "wager") suffers from Screwtape's advice "convince them they should believe X, not because it is true, but for some other reason," so I'm not well inclined to rely on his opinions outside of maths. Still, he's definitely on to something about disquiet being an all-to-common ill among men.
There's probably lots of extremes that Singles have to worry about (and Marrieds, of course, have their own struggles, too!). For me, it's not under/over-involvement, but either clawing at the walls in frustration over not having found Mr. Right, or its polar opposite: being too used to being Single.
Clawing the walls in frustration is a state to be avoided, but what do you mean by "too used to" being Single? Being comfortable in one's skin is always good, I think--unless you mean you are starting to have problems with flexibility re: your schedule, the needs of other people and things like that.
Being comfortable in one's skin is always good, I think--unless you mean you are starting to have problems with flexibility re: your schedule, the needs of other people and things like that.
I definitely owe you that email. :)
What I mean is that, having spent the vast majority of my life as a Single (if you were to squash all of my dating experience together, it might add up to two years... and I'm in my late twenties!), so that's over 80% of my adult life without even a boyfriend or a date in the picture. It gets hard - and disconcerting - to imagine how a relationship would fit in... sort of like what you would do if gravity started working the other way.
It's not a lack of flexibility nor attention to the needs of others thing, so much as a small, old-fashioned part of my reptile brain that wonders if a man would look at me and think, "She just doesn't need me in her life."
There's certainly challenges to being Single, but they are very familiar... which makes the challenges of not Single seem even more daunting (as if they were not naturally so, anyway!) by comparison.
Yes, again, reptile brain at work. :)
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