Saturday, 13 October 2012

Something Novel

I spent several exciting hours this week going over proofs of my novel. Ignatius Press will send me the typeset proofs in early November. Apparently Ceremony of Innocence will come out in early 2013. You read it here first, troops!

How can I describe this novel? Well, it is a thriller. It has strife, politics, philosophy, romance, riots, rivalry, liturgical dance, a Polish priest and the Deutscher Fussball-Bund.

It is not autobiographical. I'm telling you now so you can tell your friends.

By the way, you aren't going to lend your copies to your friends this time, because instead you are going to clutch your many-times-read copies to your bosoms and shout, "No! Buy your own!"

And then you will say, "It's not autobiographical. She said. I read it on her blog."

I cannot stress the importance of this because, ahem, I wrote the first draft before I got married, and the surname of the protagonist is uncomfortably close to my married name. I realized this only while going through the proofs, and had a silent conversation with the protagonist.

Me: Can we change your name?

Protagonist: No.

Me: But now everyone will think you are me.

Protagonist: How stupid. I'm a lot younger than you.

Me: All the same, there will be snickers.

Protagonist: Let them snicker. What do I care?

Me: I'm not thinking of you, for once, but of me.

Protagonist: I thought you were worried people would think I was Hilary.

Me: Yes, but I decided that was far-fetched. It is much more likely people will think you are me.

Protagonist: Well, that could be good. I am cleverer and much more glamorous than you are.

Me: You are much more troubled than I am.

Protagonist: Well, nobody thinks Steven King is The Shining. Incidentally who will play me in the film? If there is a film.

Me: Oh goodie! My favourite game. Hee hee hee! Someone very thin and British. Who is thin and British?

Protagonist: Kate Middleton.

Me: She smiles too much, and she's not an actor anyway.

Protagonist: Tilda Swinton.

Me: Too old.

Protagonist: Helena Bonham Carter.

Me: Oooh! Oooh! She's my favourite but... Hmm... Maybe a weeny bit too... She's older than me, so she's much older than you.

Protagonist: This is all very shallow, Mother.

Me: How old is Keira Knightley?

Protagonist: I haven't the slightest.

Me: I wonder if Keira would do it... Maybe she is too beautiful to be you.

Protagonist: Oh, ta very much.

Eventually someone will discover that the line between creativity and insanity is non-existent, and that when writers have (and lose) arguments with their own creations it is not because we are sensitive, artistic people but because we are insane. If we were sane, we would creatively work on math problems instead and make huge salaries at MIT, etc.

18 comments:

Sinéad said...

Aw Seraphic we need another Graham Greene and your book sounds like just the ticket! How many pages in there? It sounds like it will be a tome. Have you chosen the cover? I can't bear Keira, how about Rachel Hurd-Wood? She was adorable in Dorian Gray (2009).

Congratulations to you, BA and the rest of your family must be very proud. I'll buy it, recommend it and not lend it to a soul!

Seraphic said...

Re: Graham Greene. I am a doting fan but be careful what you wish for!

Anonymous said...

Hurrah hurrah! So looking forward to it. :D

You need to come up with a consistent blog platform, or something- I get so confused running between where and your former one, and the Polish one...

Nzie (theRosyGardener) said...

Emma Watson! She's young, British, thin and lovely, and seems to have a head on her shoulders as well.

I love your conversation with your protagonist. :D

Congratulations!
~Nzie

Seraphic said...

Emma Watson is much too young.

Nzie (theRosyGardener) said...

Emily Blunt? Just anyone but Keira Knightly.

Seraphic said...

Aw, what do you have against Keira? But Emily Blunt would be awesome, I agree. Right age. She'd have to be a bit deglammed and a tad haggard.

Jackie said...

YAY SERAPHIC!!!
(That was me shouting the cheer from across the Atlantic. ;-) )

The novel sound thrilling and I can't wait to read it! Maybe a countdown or an announcement on the sidebar? Maybe a book website you can link to?

I hope you sell a million copies and vote Keira Knightley-- she's got "plucky British" down pat with glam to spare.

Seraphic said...

Oh, I love the idea of a countdown! As soon as I know the actual release date, I will put up a countdown button. Thank you!

Yes, I am excited, too. I wish I could be in San Fran when it comes out, but I am not sure that would be possible!

Domestic Diva said...

Congrats, Auntie S! I can't wait to read it.

I ROFL'd at your conversation with your Protagonist, and especially at the concluding paragraph. Genius.

Maria said...

Wheeee! I'm so excited to read it! Incidentally I just googled "thin British actresses". Don't. The search results are terrifying.
What about Michelle Dockery? I don't really watch Downton Abbey but that lady is obviously a class act.

Seraphic said...

Yes, I could see her, too...

MaryJane said...

How Exciting!! Congratulations, Seraphic. I can only imagine how thrilled you must feel- a real novelist! Can't wait to read it.

Kate P said...

Congratulations--how exciting!

Also, that imaginative conversation cracked me up. What about Emily Blunt? (And yet don't you wish you could go back in time and select an actress who did excellent work before all of us were even born?)

Urszula said...

Congratulations!!! Can't wait to read it.

But please, don't choose Keira Knightley - I don't take very kindly to her, and her starring in P&P was already too much.

Catholic Bibliophagist said...

Yay! I have so been looking forward to reading some of your fiction.

And yay for Ignatius! I love that they've been taking more chances on fiction lately.

Nzie (theRosyGardener) said...

I agree with Urszula about Kiera Knightly, with the added thought that her portrayals vary only slightly for each role. I wouldn't avoid a movie because she was in it, but neither is she a selling point for me.

Emily Blunt is great and portrayed Queen Victoria beautifully. Or what about Carrie Mulligan? Romola Garai (lovely in Amazing Grace!) ? Or anyone here except Keira Knightly who is the right age: http://www.imdb.com/list/BpBbxsY20Bs/

I am hoping to read your book, of course, and if it were made into a film, well, there'd be too many factors at play for anyone but the director and producers to decide, but it's fun to contemplate.

Mustard Seed said...

Awesome!!! Congratulations, Seraphic! I find this extra exciting because now you've published in multiple genres :) very versatile indeed!

Thank you for the new "as you wish" swashbuckler, hehe.