Friday, 28 December 2012

Long-Term Readers Who Retired from Singledom

This is a second post for the day, posted merely to satisfy my curiosity about something. How many of my long-term readers (i.e. started reading between 2006 and 2011) started reading my Singles blogs as a Single but have since married or taken permanent religious vows?

A critic once suggested that "Auntie Seraphic's poppets" never get married. Since I have received many notices of weddings--and even a wedding invitation (Thank you, Tess!)--this is clearly untrue. But how untrue is it, I wonder. Off the top of my head, Cleo, Shiraz, Aussie Girl, Kim P and Sheila have all gotten married. Boeciana has become a cloistered nun.

Anyway, if you're no-longer-single, but still reading, drop a line in the combox.

By the way I am putting up a new poll about my 18-27 demographic.


Tess said...

You already know about me, but yep, I'm getting married!

I definitely credit the advice on your blog for helping me learn to have the right attitude about men. I recommend the blog and your book to all my single girl friends.

To anyone who says Auntie Seraphic's readers don't get married: it's precisely the opposite. Not only do we get married, but the more we take her advice, the more likely we are to have a healthy attitude about men and eventually find the one who is right for us.

Catholic Pen said...

I am getting married too :) We are getting married June 8. I can't remember when I started reading your blog, but I think it was sometime in 2010, shortly before I started dating my beloved M. I definitely took many of your writings too heart as one of your poppets. Thanks!

Lara L. said...

Auntie, please fix the quiz! I'm from South America!

Meredith said...

I've been reading since 2007, I think, when I was still in college, and I am getting married in April. I started out so painfully shy that I never knew when guys were interested in me - and then, when I noticed interest, I would flee like a rabbit from a hungry coyote. Your book and blog both soothed and emboldened me. I give you major credit for straightening my head out!

Christine P said...

I started reading in what was probably late 2009 or early 2010. I got married in March 2012.

Definite credit goes to Auntie S for my happily-ever-after: because I had been reading this blog I bit my tongue and WAITED for him to make the first move, even though I was sure that there were sparks flying between us. He told me some time afterwards that it would have been a pretty big turnoff for him, had I made the first move.

PS - I didn't answer the poll because although I'm female, under 28, and Canadian (there's your answer), I'm also Protestant!

Seraphic said...

Congratulations, girls! How nice!

Meanwhile, I'll eventually have a Protestant Poll. (Hee hee!)

Shiraz said...

You already know about me too, but yes. I am married. I think I'm an oddity for this blog though, as I have done things very differently to the way you advise... like dating for YEARS long distance before getting engaged. But if I remember one of your previous polls, I was also your outlier lefty ;-p.

(That said, my husband certainly chased me to begin with.)

Of course, while not necessarily following all your advice myself, I very much enjoy reading it -- It's just like talking to a level-headed friend over a cup of tea. Lots to relate to, and always something to think about, even if you don't always agree.

I don't comment very much now (can't believe I just did twice in one day!) as I don't want to drown out the single ladies.

Shiraz said...

PS. Ooops, I forgot to say, that although I am married, this does not mean I suddenly stopped being interested in men and women and relationships and what makes people tick. Or that I suddenly stopped having single girlfriends. Or that I suddenly stopped enjoying girl talk. So you might have a bigger married audience than you think!

Seraphic said...

Sorry, Lara! I can't fix the quiz now that people have voted. But I'll add your vote here:

Latin America: 1.

MaryP said...

I've been reading (though have never commented!) since probably 2009-ish and got married in 2011.

Like Shiraz, I went against dear Auntie Seraphic's advice and dated my now husband long distance (transatlantic, actually) for years. Of course being young and silly and hard-headed I thought that what Auntie had to say of course did not apply to me! Wrrrrrooooonnnnng. So wrong! So, in retrospect I can report that yes, she was right all along and our protracted courtship probably wouldn't have been as long by at least half had I actually listened to what she had to say.

But I do still read because a) I have a younger single sister and b) I like to brush up on wise advice talking points to pass along and c) relationships between the sexes are just painfully interesting and d) I feel like we are sort of kindred spirits since we are both North Americans married to Brits living in Britain who go to the Traditional Mass.

Plus, I like to live vicariously through the dinner party posts. Having a baby significantly reduces the number of dinner parties in one's life.

Frustrated said...

Hi! I've been reading your blog but I am not getting married and
probably won't get married in the foreseeable future (no sign of any N(C)B. I very much appreciate your "stay-rooted-in-reality approach" but have recently come to the conclusion that it's completely beyond our control whether we get married (or meet our significant other) or not. It seems to me that any advice given to single women is somewhat useless. If we are to get married, we'll do so no matter what we do (dating or avoiding dates, sleeping around or being chaste). And if we are not meant to get married, we may lose our wits obeying other people's advice. It may sound a bit harsh or bitter but having read many Christian books and blogs on that subject, I've only remained utterly frustrated and am going to let things go.

ceciliamaria said...

I've been a reader since 07 or 08 and am getting married this fall. This blog has been and continues to be a source of encouragement and support. I didn't follow Auntie's advice either, but when I finally did, I found the love of my life shortly thereafter. :)

On a side note, I am meeting up with another Seraphic Singles reader next week! I can't wait to meet someone I met virtually through this blog and has been a friend for several years!

Seraphic said...

Oh, Cecilia Maria, that's very nice! I hope it goes well, although I am sure it will. I always enjoy meeting my readers, and talking to y'all in person is a lot like talking to y'all online!

Frustrated, I am totally sympathetic to your plan to let things go.

The one thing I will caution is not to assume that women who sleep around "get married anyway." (They probably do, but most women do. Many women divorce, too.)

One HUGE Catholic girl mistake is to assume that women who sleep with their boyfriends didn't put a heck of a lot of thought into it first or delay matters by some weeks or months after a lot of conversation. Some things really ARE under your control, like making good decisions about your health and safety. And chastity is not for getting a husband (although in Catholic and other traditional circles it still helps) but for living a virtuous life.

Meanwhile, despite the question I asked, the point to this blog is not to get readers married off or safely into the convents of their dreams but to help women live happier Single lives.

One thing I suggest is that Single readers imagine what they would do if they completely ruled marriage out of the picture (e.g. go to Africa with Medicins Sans Frontieres) and do that

AveLady said...

I started reading in college... fall of 2007 or spring of 2008, I think, and I just got engaged this month!

I am by nature impatient and anything in the spirit of "the rules" does not come naturally. Your advice was rather badly needed. It was also a big help after college when I needed to work harder to make life pleasant for myself living on my own and searching carefully. I tried online dating for a stint, met a pleasant young man but felt no spark and so said goodbye after three pleasant dates. I think your advice really helped me there, too, because it all felt fairly normal instead of becoming a huge psychodrama. Without some common-sense slogans floating around in my head I could have done any number of ridiculous things out of some sense of guilt or other.

When I started to fall for my now-fiance, I think I it was pretty obvious to him that I was interested, but not to everyone else on the planet (a nice step up from my college days). Years of reading here helped me keep my mouth shut and my head on relatively straight until he spoke (mercifully fairly speedily). He treats me marvelously well and makes my heart sing and got me a very nice diamond ring and is taking the lion's share of work in wedding planning already.

He says often that one of the things that makes him love me is how much I love life and my friends. I know that those are attitudes that you helped me cultivate. So thank you, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Seraphic said...

Goodness me! I am overwhelmed!

Sarah said...

To Frustrated: I stubbornly declared last night to six of my closest friends, that if I wasn't married by 30, I wouldn't marry at all.

It was something I said after a big beer and without thinking. I don't think it's true, but it kind of gives one an idea of where my head is on the matter: impatient, frustrated, and ready to call the whole thing a bad job and go to bed.

Nothing really substantial to add besides that, just offering some sympathy and solidarity.

gwen said...

Well I am 30, and quite frustrated, and stepping up the prayers and asking for wisdom and the peace to be able to deal with the disappointment a little better. But I'm happy for the women who have found the right convent or man to be able to take the next step towards their vocation.

LadyEudaimoneia said...

Hi! I've been reading since about 2009, and I got married in February of 2012; I've never commented before this. I let him make the first move: he asked me out to dinner (he was so nervous and shy, but he did it anyway!) and sparks flew from there. We started dating, got engaged, and got married in less than a year. My biggest departure from any of your advice is that I'm Catholic and he's Protestant. He's ultra supportive of me being RC and of raising the kids RC (once we have those - God willing). Oh! And being happy definitely made a difference in my case--he's said from the very beginning that it was my smile that he noticed first.

Seraphic said...

Sarah and Gwen, the holidays definitely exacerbate feelings like this. From staring at the American statistics (at least), it seems to me that the older you get, the more likely you are to get married. The men your age--and the ones a little older--grow up and start looking and behaving seriously.

It's really hard to realize this
when your own friends marry at 21 or 22, but really, average age at first marriage for men in the USA is 28.9 and for women 26.9. In Canada it's 31.1 and 29.1. It's even higher in Ireland.

Lady E, I'm delighted to hear from you!

KimP said...

Still reading, although no longer single! Having been single for my first 47 years, I continue to be fascinated by girl-boy relationships. Of course, I still have single friends - some recently singled by divorce (very sad) so they are hurting and seek guidance and solace. Please pray for them; they need our prayers just as much as the never-married.

Eva said...

Seraphic, I am late to this post, but I wanted to add myself to the no-longer-single reader group. I stumbled across the older blog in late 2006 or early 2007. The same time I was falling in love with the Catholic Church and my future husband. I got married in 2008 (at 25). During my dating/engagement, I was in a very tradition-averse, sin-glamorizing div school environment, and I know I benefitted greatly from your ministry (which is what you offer to your readers). I love reading your thoughts, and am so happy that you continued writing for singles (I am often short on female company over the age of three, so the conversations here are a boon).

Seraphic said...

Eva, thanks for your comment and continuing best wishes! I'm sorry your div school was caught up in the glamour of evil, but I'm glad my blog helped you through!