Welcome to the restored Seraphic Singles blog! If you've been following my blogs, you know that I'm not actually Single anymore. While I was hawking the Seraphic Singles book to publishers, I met the man to whom I am now married--one of my readers! I got the news the book was to be published when we were on honeymoon. However, I've made it my mission to continue thinking and writing about the Single Life from a Roman Catholic perspective.
Why? Well, first of all, Single people are interesting. Married people have come to the end of the classic adventure tale: to a certain extent, they settle down, they follow the social structures laid out like a red carpet for married people. But Single people--! Single people are still slashing their way through the jungle, still adventuring, still finding their way into the world.
Second of all, Single people--and I mean really Single people, men and women who always sleep alone--don't get enough positive attention. Oh, sure, the advertisers love you. The dating websites really love you. And, sure, the Church and society have all kinds of activities for you---as long as you're still in school. Out of school? Well, it's a different story.
So this is a blog for those who are Single, for those who sleep alone. I hope to provide you Singles with helpful links, inspiring stories and loads of unsolicited advice. Meanwhile, if past comments boxes are anything to judge by, you are likely to meet a whole host of likeminded Catholic Singles and other Singles of good will.
Just a note about terminology: for the purposes of this blog, there are are Serious Singles and Searching Singles. A Serious Single is a Single person who has made a life choice to be Single--either as an unvowed layman or laywoman, a consecrated virgin or an unmarried, secular priest. A Searching Single is a Single person who is Single and either really, really doesn't want to be or is relatively happy as a Single person but would be just as happy (or happier) if he or she got married one day.
Also for the purposes of this blog, I count divorced people, widows and widowers as Singles. If you are sleeping alone and doing your best to live a life of chastity, as far as I'm concerned, you're a Single of the kind who can profit from Seraphic Singles.
14 comments:
Sorry to be picky, Seraphic; but there are also single lay Men in vows - members of Secular Institutes, Diocesan Hermits, and the like.
Don't leave them out in the cold !
They, too, are witnessing to the single vocation; albeit probably in a rather different way from their female counterparts.
Thank you! I don't know any, but it's good to know that they exist! Do they have permanent vows?
I guess I should also ask if they are living in community with preset community structures, too. (I mean men in these institutes.)
Yay for Seraphic Singles!
Attending Christmas parties alone can be tough. Recently I attended my work Christmas party where I and another girl several years my junior were the only ones without a husband.
On the other hand, last night I played in a wonderful carols service at my local church. Here I was surrounded by MANY singles, my age, younger and older. But it didnt matter who was what because we all joinded together as musicians. I recommend a carols service to any Single finding it difficult in the holiday season.
Bring on the unsolicited advice.
(Please and thank you.)
Dear Seraphic;
Secular Institutes don't, on the whole, involve community life, except from time to time (retreats, &c); they are about lay people living in the world, but taking vows. They operate like an ordinary religious community in relation to vows; there are initially temporary vows, and then permanent vows for life.
Diocesan Hermits live under solemn permanent vows publicly made to the Diocean Bishop.
There are probably more women than men in both of these categories simply because the Church tends to encourage men with any sort of religious vocation to become priests; but there certainly are lay men in the Secular Institutes, and I believe that there are also male Diocesan Hermits, although I don't personally know any in the UK.
I'd love to meet a hermit! But hermits by definition aren't easy to meet. If there were a hermit around, I'd hope he would be the kind with a grille through which I could ask questions and solicit spiritual advice.
Bring on the unsolicited advice.
(Please and thank you.)
I agree with KateP!
Also... thank you, a million times over, for mentioning women who sleep alone. A lot of people who are unmarried but do the serial monogamy thing or who have a lot of lovers don't quite understand what it's like to not do that. It's not just being unmarried; it's really being by oneself. Very different things.
Yep! When you're a Catholic Single (or many other kind of religious Single, or any other kind of just plain old Single), you sleep alone.
That's what makes my stuff for Singles different than that by the Quirky Alone lady. Quirky is okay with sex without strings; Seraphic, not so much. Single for my readers means Single and No Sex--or at least, Single and trying not to have sex. Some Singles (Serious and Searching) do slip up in their practise of chastity, but the point is to keep on trying to grow in holiness and do better. And that means empty beds!
Whoops! I should say "many kinds of just plain old Single." Obviously some Singles sleep with a lot of companionship. I don't think they'd be too interested in this blog though.
My only sleeping companion is a calico cat. And she hogs the bed.
(How apt is it that my word verification is "catomme"?)
Seraphic;
no, a Hermit is not always someone totally withdrawn from the world : many of them provide spiritual guidance and direction of various types, and there's even one Diocesan Hermit in the US who plays in her local orchestra !
The Canon says that it is someone who 'withdraws further from the world', and devotes his/her life 'to the praise of God and the salvation of the world through the silence of solitude and through constant prayer and penance'.
However, if you read up about the Desert Fathers, you will see that they were still part of the Church - just not always in the middle of it. Hermits are meant to be a living witness to the presence of God, and as such they are usually available to guide, counsel, and console - that can, after all, be a part of prayer.
Ultimately, the eremitic life is a witness to the fulness of God, and the fact that we are ultimately created for Him, and that human relationships are inherently secondary.
Speaking as someone in the early stages of discerning such a vocation, I can only say that it's a long and painful process really coming to terms with those facts !
Theobromophile;
I'm glad you sleep alone . . . chocolate in bed can be SO messy ! (LOL)
Seraphic;
Sudden thought - you might like to look at the blog of a Hermit . . .
http://notesfromstillsong.blogspot.com/
Thank you! I'll have a look.
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