Dear Auntie Seraphic,
There may very well be some eligible Catholic bachelors of a decent sort and age out there, but then the hurdle is how do you meet them? We don’t normally attend bars, or social clubs, and at church-related gatherings everything you do is on the spotlight. You can’t lift a pinky without everyone knowing. Catholic websites are a waste of time; I’m constantly having to turn guys down who think that when I say what I’m looking for I don’t really mean it. I’m tempted to let myself go and not try any longer and accept I will never get married.
OK. So there's my plight. It's Eastertide, and again I'm alone. My clock is ticking. So I turn to you, a complete stranger (no pressure). I'm trying to brainstorm ways of connecting with like-minded individuals on the internet. Maybe you can help. I'd like to try to 'meet' someone once and for all, but I can't think of how to go about it. It seems I've tried all the conventional ways. I'm not unattractive, but I'm out of ideas.
Dear Ticking Clock,
What if you got a telegram from God saying you were never getting married? Game over. Mystery solved. Would you roll into a little ball and die, or would you have a bit of a cry, sigh, and throw a "Mystery Solved" party, complete with No-Wedding gifts? After that, would you live the life of a hermit, or would you throw yourself into activities without an ounce of self-conciousness, knowing that whatever you did, it wouldn't hurt your marriage prospects because you have none?
My advice is to get out there, bask as unself-consciously in the church spotlight as a naturalist on a sunny nude beach, and stop sizing up men for their husband potential. Get off the stupid dating websites, which are next door to mail-order catalogues, and meet all kinds of people. Young people who need mentoring. Old people who need visits. Mothers your age who would kill for a chance to leave their kids with you and get their hair done. Party like it's 1999.
You are never going to meet the Mr. Perfect you are carrying around in your head, so dump him on the side of the road. My imaginary Mr. Perfect was tall, blond, clean-shaven and German. The love of my life turned out to be short, brown-haired, bearded and Scottish. If I had written him off just for having a beard, I would not be Seraphic Spouse today. Meanwhile, I wasn't really looking when I found him. I just thought of him as a nice friendly guy who had offered me a place to crash in Scotland.
Hang out with people you have classified as "nice & friendly" and there's no telling what might happen. Let go and let God.
Grace and peace,