Contestants must be Single, American, between the ages of 12 to 112, and attending a big Thankgiving Dinner tonight.
The rules are simple: every time someone asks you today or tonight, in the context of a Thanksgiving gathering, if you have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) yet, OR asks when you are getting married, you get a point. You get a point for every family member who chips in, too.
Uncle Art: So when are you getting hitched, Mary Claire? (1 Point)
Aunt Kate: Art. Mary Claire has plenty of time, don't you, dear? After all, you're only 28. (1 Point)
Helpful Brother Bobby: She's 32.
Aunt Kate: Really? (Looks appalled.) Oh dear. (1 point)
Grandma (slighly deaf): And have you found anyone special, dear? (1 point).
Aunt Mary: And where's that young man I've been hearing about, Grace? (1 Point)
Grace: He's with his family in Wasilla.
Uncle Mike (chanting): I once knew a girl in Wasilla/who thought a new man would fulfilla. (2 Points--horrible limericks inspired by your love life are worth 2 Points)
Aunt Sue (wife of above): Mike.
Uncle Mike: Is his last name Palin? (1 Point)
Cousin Jerry: Are there Palin sons?
Aunt Mary: You wouldn't marry a Republican, would you, Grace? (1 Point)
Grace's Mother: He's very apolitical, apparently. (1 Point)
Grace: Do you mind not discussing him when he's not here?
Grace's Entire Family: Oooo-ooooh! (1 point)
After collecting your points, you must redeem them here in the combox, offering as proof of each point more-or-less what your relation said. Cite your dinner host's state of residence (e.g. Illinois).
No fair egging your relations to humilate you. The winning contestant must be an innocent victim.