The whole point to adult Christian life is service. Really. If you are a Christian adult, and you are not serving anyone, then what on earth are you doing? And how can you be happy?
I was talking to my pal Andrew yesterday, and he mentioned that although one would think that service would feel like a downer, it really feels like a great privilege.
I think it is that feeling that tells you you are in the right form of service! It has to be a free gift, so if you are already in a service profession, I guess it might be when you go the extra mile, or perhaps when someone great thanks you with real gratitude for what you do.
Sometimes, of course, you are not really in a position to serve in active ways, like elderly and infirm Jesuits who give up their last professional duties with a sigh and say that now their service is to pray for the Society. But doubling your prayers because you no longer have another service to gives is service too.
Discuss.
14 comments:
Have you ever heard of the Siena Institute? Their whole thing is about helping people discern their charisms (not °praying in tounges° kind of thing... things like hospitality, or teaching, etc.) so that they are in the right kind of service.
There can be so much burnout when you are in the wrong kind of service (but someone much teach! nevermind that children exhaust me and I despise lesson planning) but so much joy in the right kind (I cannot wait to host the next Bible study!)
I think the Siena Institute is a fantastic apostolate and many parishes have seen a lot of fruit from it. They also provide individual help for people who feel like they want to serve, but they cannot seem to find the right thing.
(Disclaimer: I have not actually used their services, I just know of them, and I know that their theology is sound.)
I agree 100%.
Being one of the marrieds now, my service is primarily in the corporal acts of mercy towards my daughter, but I also try to do little things like serve the homeless I see day to day, or volunteer for pro-life stuff. When I was single, one of the BEST things I got to do was visit with the elderly residents at my local Little Sisters of the Poor. After my daughter was born, I would take her to the Missionaries of Charity home. Service takes you out of yourself-if you're going through one of those awful "I'll always be single, why are men so dreadful?" periods, there is nothing like visiting the people whose needs are so much greater than your own.
I moved from the great Catholic Northeast a while ago to the Bible belt, and there are fewer opportunities for specifically Catholic service (and my little girl is no longer in the easily portable stage), but I try to keep an eye open for opportunities. They're everywhere if you look.
I agree that being of use to other people is important in Christian life. I really hope I lead a useful life. I guess there are many different forms of service, though.
I am living alone, I don’t know many people hereabouts, and work all day long. I don’t have much capacity left to help sick or elderly people in my spare time. I really am too tired. My “service” lies in trying to be nice to the people I meet (colleagues, friends, neighbours, family), having an open ear for their troubles, being a cheerful companion and so on.
But is it enough? Do I miss the point of adult Christian life when I’m not doing more? Should we all reduce our working time in order to do more for other people? Or is it also an important point of Christian life to just do what you are asked to do at the moment, as good as you can, even if it is very unspectacular? Like you can’t say afterwards “now I have helped a group of sick people go to Lourdes”, or “I have saved my old lonely neighbour from despair by visiting her twice a week”. But you can say “at least I tried to be nice to the colleague that nobody likes” or “at least I am not contributing to the gossiping about our boss, thus improving the working climate”.
Another question: Does service have to be a free gift, so being in a service profession isn’t enough? Most of us choose their professions voluntarily, many of us with the aim of doing something good to mankind through it. I hope this also counts as service. We are giving the greatest part of our lives to our jobs (if we don’t have a family)!
I hope this doesn't sound too negative. This is only a topic I am often gnawing at.
This Siena Institute sounds great!
Wow, the Siena Institute does sound great! I'm truly of the opinion that we need a LOT more talk about gifts, charisms etc. I would posit that a good lot of the problems that arise in parish life is because people are in ministries that they shouldn't be in (ahem, music ministry almost EVERYWHERE) and many people are not aware of the charisms they have to serve in the right places.
I think I once heard the definition of vocation being where your greatest gifts meet the world's greatest needs. I like that. I really am happiest serving amongst the spiritually poor of the artistic world. I just wish I could do it more. When I can't I feel pretty unfulfilled.
Magdalena, I think you hit the nail on the head when you say that "it is also an important point of Christian life to just do what you are asked to do at the moment". If there's something good in itself that we really can't do, it means God isn't asking it of us just now. (Contemplative nuns can't go out in the evenings and care for the sick and homeless either!) I don't believe opportunities for service in one form or another will be lacking in the life of anyone who sincerely wants to do God's will and live a fruitful life. I say this because I am often tempted to second-guess the circumstances I am in (even though I am rationally certain that I'm not supposed to make any major change right now), to compare my life to other people's etc., which is a really good way of "missing the point" of one's own life.
Starting to think this is exactly my problem.
Magdalena, I think you hit the nail on the head when you say that "it is also an important point of Christian life to just do what you are asked to do at the moment". If there's something good in itself that we really can't do, it means God isn't asking it of us just now. (Contemplative nuns can't go out in the evenings and care for the sick and homeless either!) I don't believe opportunities for service in one form or another will be lacking in the life of anyone who sincerely wants to do God's will and live a fruitful life. I say this because I am often tempted to second-guess the circumstances I am in (even though I am rationally certain that I'm not supposed to make any major change right now), to compare my life to other people's etc., which is a really good way of "missing the point" of one's own life
Highly recommend the Siena Institute Spiritual Gifts Inventory. It really helped me figure out which direction to move in with my life. It also pointed out that the things i'm good at and I feel most alive doing are in fact the things I should be doing, rather than trying to be good at cool stuff other people are good at. It really lets you hone in on your gifts and know yourself so you can focus on being really alive and really useful instead of doing things like being talked into being the treasurer of your CWL when the gift of administration is no where near the top of your list and you really just want to be leading a Bible study or music ministry.
I agree with Magdalena. I sometimes wonder whether I am a horrible person for not doing more in service. But honestly, after a good day's work, laundry, dinner, cleaning, ironing (for myself, I admit) I have little capacity to do even more. Maybe if I could figure out what kind of service exactly would best make use of my gifts, it would be easier.
Also, does not-formal serving count? What if I am the go-to person whenever most of my friends and a fair amount of my co-workers have problems? I am often exhausted by others' emotional problems (especially the ones they bring upon themselves), but I think that listening to my friend-going-through-horrible-separation-and-custody-issues-in-a-foreign-country-with-a-young-child-and-no-job talk about her problems, often an hour or two at a time, is maybe what I am called to do - instead of the soup kitchen. I don't know. I struggle with this too.
I should underscore that the "something more" is something that you LOVE to do and makes you feel good.
If you are too busy to spend time helping people in any way, that is sad, not because you're "a bad person" who "isn't doing enough" but because service is great for your spirits. One word people use is "meaningful" as in, "I'm sick of working in an office for 60 hours a week; I want to do something meaningful!"
Service doesn't have to be anything formal, and it certainly doesn't have to be boring or stressful. If you find it boring or stressful, than it is probably not a service you are called to do.
There are ways to find room for service into all kinds of professions. Many lawyers do pro bono work for causes they believe in, for example.
Anyway, thank you for the discussion! I mentioned service because married people have service built into their lives--they are constantly doing things for other people and getting thanked or other emotional rewards--but although Singles have more freedom, their opportunities to serve are not as obvious.
What made the last years (as it turned out) of my Single Life meaningful was writing for Singles! And writing for Singles is still a very rewarding part of my life, despite the fact that, of course, I do not get paid.
I think Magdalena's question really just highlights why I suggest something like the Sienna Institute. They can help you figure out something beyond "going to the soup kitchen" or "cooking for your elderly neighbor" - which are great things, but not something everyone is called to.
Mother Teresa is well known for talking about the importance of doing small things with great love. She encouraged people not to come to Calcutta, but to love those whom they encounter at home. Obviously, being single, it is possible to encounter very few people... but still. The grocery clerk can always use an extra smile.
Also, being in a service profession is tricky, because you are already practicing some of the corporal and spiritual works of mercy for a living! I think that doing that well is key.
Ultimately, it's between you and the Lord and only he can tell you. Simcha wrote a great piece on discernment recently, and I liked that she pointed out that if we are called to something, it will tug on our hearts. So maybe that's where to start. Is anything tugging at your heart? What do you love doing, or wish you had time for?
Seraphic, I'm grateful for your work of service!
By chance I came across this thought for the day and thought it would add to the discussion (taken from http://www.opusdei.org.au/sec.php?s=310)
God is not removing you from your environment. He is not taking you away from the world, or from your condition in life, or from your noble human ambitions, or from your professional work... But he wants you to be a saint ‑‑ right there! (The Forge, 362)
Be convinced that our professional vocation is an essential and inseparable part of our condition as Christians. Our Lord wants you to be holy in the place where you are, in the job you have chosen for whatever reason. To me, every job that is not opposed to the divine law is good and noble, and capable of being raised to the supernatural plane, that is, inserted into the constant flow of Love which defines the life of a child of God...
We must avoid the error of thinking we can reduce the apostolate to the performance of a few pious practices. You and I are Christians but at the same time, and without any break in continuity, we are citizens and workers with clear obligations, which we have to fulfill in an exemplary manner if we really want to become saints. Jesus himself is urging us: ‘You are the light of the world’ [1]. (Friends of God, 60-61)
[1] Matt 5:14-16
Post a Comment