Tuesday, 27 November 2012

The Boyfriend Pillow

Okay, a yahoo article about this just flashed across my screen. (I'm not linking to yahoo; I hate how their news service constantly distracts me and tries to fill the heads of the world with junk.)

I am so disturbed by the concept of the boyfriend pillow that I must pontificate.

First of all, its nomenclature assumes that the fact that women sleep with their boyfriends, not exclusively with husbands, is completely unproblematic.

Second, it reduces men to headless pillows, which although not as offensive as reducing women to blow-up dolls, is still pretty offensive.

Third, who is going to give a woman a headless, one-armed boyfriend pillow? (And what woman would want to buy it for herself?) Someone did once give me a tiny foam boyfriend that you could drop in a glass of water and presumably grow to boyfriend size, but that's more of a funny collectible you never take out of its box than an acceptable bed accessory. Hel-lo.

Fourth, would it not make more sense to purchase a huge woolly toy gorilla with two arms? Or four arms? For one thing, there is nothing immoral about sharing your bed with a big gorilla. As a child I shared my bed with a great blue whale. Oh dear, all of a sudden I miss my great blue whale. Sniff, sniff.

Does no one actually run these ideas past women????


Update: Oh heavens, I just noticed that there is also a headless squashy-breasted girlfriend pillow, too. In pink. To quote B.A., Help ma bob! Assistez-moi Rober'!

8 comments:

NS said...

I sympathize. Captain Fish is long gone. Hopefully, this will help:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wally-Large-Killer-Whale-Soft/dp/B0065I8R38

Notburga said...

I shared bed with a cuddly-toy frog. (Frogs being my favourite animals then and now, for which reason I was always disappointed by the plot development of the princess-and-frog fairy tale: I do not wish to know what says about me, psychologically...)

sleeptight said...

Thoughts in order:

1. Hilarious!
2. Looks comfy.
3. You can sleep with stuffed animals (I sleep with a large-sized bear that I probably have too many nighttime security-blanket feelings for, and this is why I am not using my usual moniker for this comment), but it has a little bit of a childish feel past a certain age (I assume). Not that a body pillow WITH A HUGE ARM STICKING OUT screams maturity, I suppose.
4. I wonder if that arm is actually supportive? Like, can it help support your back when sleeping on your side? That could be a HUGE plus!

Lauren said...

This is really rather creepy. Why not just an assortment of extra pillows, a fluffy duvet, and a snuggly cat?

Mary E said...

bahaha! So creepy! My fiance and I discovered that online a couple weeks ago when we were chatting about nursing boppies (lol!). But it would be so weird sleeping with a random lone arm. I'd take a body pillow any day.

MaryJane said...

What does B.A.'s quote translate as? (Maybe my American English is lacking, but I don't get "bob?")

Seraphic said...

"Help ma boab" (or bob) is a comedy-Scots phrase from a comic strip called "Our Wullie." It means "goodness gracious me." Assistez-moi Robert is merely a joking translation of "Help ma boab."

Another comedy Scots pretend swear is "Jings Crivvens" which is roughly "Jiminy Cricket!"

Urszula said...

My beat-up teddy bear is just a year younger than me and is probably one of the better-traveled stuffed animals out there.

I had a lovely huuuge teddy bear that I inherited from one of my friends (a gift from her ex-boyfriend). There's something comforting about a soft and fluffy presence in your bed at night. But I agree, a stuffed boyfriend arm is just creepy.

Nowadays I sleep with 6 pillows. I have no idea what Freud would say about that, but as long as I'm warm, comfy, and sleep well, I'm not really concerned about that.