Friday, 14 March 2014

Turning Eavesdroppers into Readers

I forget how long it has been since I gently dissuaded men from reading this blog. In case you were wondering, it had much to do with the fact that some male readers startled other female readers by following them to other blogs and writing to them in an overly familiar way. There was also the "imaginary internet girlfriend" factor, which made me uncomfortable. It is a sad fact that many men are Single because they lack good social judgement and either frighten, alienate or bore women. Sometimes a blameless psychological condition lies behind this. Sometimes it is just youthful inability to understand women. Sometimes sin and cynicism have over time rotted their character and it shows.

I wish I could help the men who suffer from psychological conditions that make it difficult for them to pick up on social cues or interest women. I am just not qualified, and already having devoted my spare time to Single women, I don't have a lot to spend on men whose social problems I have never shared. Generally, I know what to say and when to shut up, but I don't know how to teach that to anyone. My advice to men with such conditions is to go to their doctors or counselors and say, "Where can I learn the skills to befriend women?"

However, this blog may be of help to men who suffer from a youthful inability to understand women, or who are striving to give their characters an overhaul so that they can be found acceptable by the kind of people who used to be called "nice girls." Also, it might be of a help to men whose life experiences have led them to doubt that there are "nice girls" out there. Many women of modest and discriminating habits read my blog; there are a wide variety of such women, and they blow apart cherished stereotypes. Many "nice girls" will, in fact, challenge a guy's ideas about what women "should be" like.

Finally, I know many of my female readers want to read men's opinions on Single life, dating, family life and women. Sometimes you are not made very happy by what men say, but that in itself is educational. Essential to having happy or merely respectful relationships with men is understanding that men are who they are and not necessarily who you want them to be. Of course you deserve to have your views as a woman listened to respectfully, but men deserve to have their views as men listened to respectfully, too.

All this is the lead up to my decision to welcome back men to the Seraphic Singles fold this St. Joseph's Day, i.e. next Wednesday. I will stop calling the Eavesdroppers the Eavesdroppers, and they will just be Readers, too. The blog is still for Single women, mind you, and my best advice to any Single man is always going to be "Talk to a good priest." Most priests ARE Single men, so whatever problem Single men have is a problem a Single priest is likely to have, too, or certainly have thought about. And this will including getting along with women, and coping with bullying women, and coping with crushes, bless them. Everyone gets crushes.


Kate said...

"It is a sad fact that many men are Single because they lack good social judgement and either frighten, alienate or bore women."

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Cordi said...

Hooray! I liked hearing from the men. :)