Monday, 18 February 2013


I had a deadline this morning and now I'm rushing around getting ready to see my friend Tricia, who is just back from a funeral out West. I leave for Scotland on Wednesday, so you can imagine how much I long to spend as much time with friends as possible!

I am not sure what this means, but my ordinary "in-box" (not the Seraphic Singles one) is crammed with messages in a way it never is in Scotland. Oh dear, oh dear. I think that just might be the way it is when you migrate to another country after making your mark (however small) in your own.

That's a subject for discussion: the issue of making new friends when you move to a new place far from your old friends. My very best girlfriends, my homegirls, you might even say, I met in university, during undergrad and much later, in theology school. And meanwhile, not to carp and complain, but really, why I am almost the only one in both my Scottish and Canadian circles who likes to write emails to friends far away? AAAAARGH!


Magdalena said...

A very good topic. How do you keep contact with a growing number of formerly good friends in a growing number of places?
And how do you meet new people at a new town? Okay, "how" is maybe not the biggest problem. Go out there, do things you are interested in, and you will meet people. But how do you make new friends when everyone you meet seems to be content with the friends they already have, and is, moreover, busy with a demanding job? This seems to become more difficult the older I get.
The solution seems to be: Have a lot of patience. And maybe, after a while, change your spare time activity if you really don't meet anyone at the "young adult group", choir, or mountain hiking club you are attending. That's what I'm pondering at the moment. I was very much hoping I would find a nice circle of catholic friends this time. So I went to the local prayer group and kept going there for several months now. There are a few people I would like to become friends with, but this is a very slow process.
Should I have more patience, or should I just move on? Everyone says the Swiss need even more time making new friends than the Germans.
Anyway, it is a great comfort to know I have a lot of friends in other cities. Calling them or inviting them here does help a lot not to feel so lonely.
How do you fellow readers deal with such situations?

Have a very nice last day in Canada, Seraphic!

Jam said...

Friends are such a mystery. Why, living in one place, did I have such trouble making friends, and in others it was relatively easy? Thinking about friends isn't just a distraction from thinking about boys, and it's not just a realm for developing interpersonal skills; I think it's also an area to think about the degree to which all the special people in our lives are such gifts from God.

As for writing emails: I admit that the number one impact I think Facebook has had on my friendships is that I expect to be kept up to date with people in little bits as they happen. And then big doses of catching up feel so burdensome.

Sunnysaffer said...

Thanks for bringing up this topic Seraphic.

On keeping up with friends abroad, I have found it best to put my pride aside and focus on being a good friend. So I don't mind if it always me emailing, Skyping, texting etc. People are usually geniunely (I think!) pleased to hear from me and I am pleased to have caught up with them. Many of my friends automatically log in to Skype when they start up their computers so when I see a name pop up I often send a message or call. if they don't have the time to speak right then they tell me, but still at the very least they know I was thinking of them.

As for making new friends, I find the same problem as Magdalena. People are friendly, but seem to be happy with the friends they have. It does take time to develop friendships and so one has to be patient. However, if after I have intitated a meet up/contact several times there is no reciprocal invitation I move on. Also if I have joined a group and find there is nobody I really connect with I also move on, although this can be awkward to explain!