Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Auntie Seraphic & the Nice TOO Catholic Boy

Well, my dears, here is the first Auntie Seraphic letter of the Easter season, sent to me just before I closed the office for Holy Week. And hold onto your hats, for it is from a man, and a man who very sensibly asked me for first and second date advice, too.

Dear Auntie Seraphic,

X turned me down for a second date because I'm Catholic. By her lights, Catholicism is too different from whatever flavor of protestant she is to continue [seeing me]. I'm very disappointed. On the one hand, I can see how this would save us all the pain that would result from re-litigating the Reformation. On the other hand, it's not everyday that I meet a pretty girl who takes her version of the Christian faith seriously (and who has many other qualities I find deeply attractive).

She wants to be friends once I move down to DC, where I had a job interview on Monday. I don't know how I feel about this. I already have several friends in the Washington metro area, but not so many that I should blithely turn down an offer of friendship. At the same time, I'm dubious that unrequited romantic attraction is a firm basis for friendship. In all likelihood I would become more attracted to her as I got to know her better.

Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated.

Nice TOO Catholic Boy

Dear N2CB,

I'm sorry that happened. In a way it's a mini-martyrdom, really, since this definitely counts as suffering for the faith.

I don't usually write to guys, so I'm of two minds about the whole friendship offer. On the one hand, it's good to know more people. On the other, you are right: you don't want to get hooked on a pretty girl who just wants to be friends.

Tell you what. Don't contact her for about a week, which is about as long as it will take her to feel regretful for having turned down a good guy. Then send her an email saying it would be great to see her again when you're in DC. If you're lucky, by the time you get down there, you will be over her, but she will think to include you in a party or some group activity, where you can meet someone else! 

Meanwhile, I'm sorry. Personally, I'm not a big believer in mixed-religion romances, so I can see her point, but it's still sad. Good for you for trying, though. 

Want me to print your letter? It may interest my readers to know that a good, available Catholic guy is DC-bound. 

Grace and peace,
N2CB said "Sure," so if my Catholic DC readers would like to go as a group (since we do not do matchmaking here on Seraphic Singles, and I have never met the man, though he is certainly a long-term reader) and take out their brother Catholic for coffee and cake to make up for the continuing side-effects of the Protestant Reformation, then do let me know in the combox!

Update: Thanks to ML for his March donation!


Tess said...

Hi Auntie,

I'm engaged to get married, as you know, but I have many wonderful single friends and I know a lot of the fun young Catholics in the DC area. If the young man is looking for friends, please feel free to give him my email address (or give me his, whichever is easier) and I'd be happy to introduce him around!

Seraphic said...

Splendid, Tess! Thank you!

Maria said...

In a way, I am rather relieved to hear it's not just girls who find it so difficult to meet someone of the opposite sex who is both attractive and takes their faith seriously.
I sympathize with N2CB! Better luck next time.

Christina Grace said...

I also live in DC and this guy is in luck--it is basically Nice Catholic Girl heaven here. There are so many lovely Catholic women here who take their faith seriously. I would also be happy to introduce him to my friends (some of whom are also friends with Tess!).

Chich said...

This post is amusing. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate N2CB's honesty. It is truly hard to try to "just be friends" with someone with whom you are quite drawn to, romantically. I agree with Auntie's advice. Perhaps the girl may change her mind after some time. We always do anyway :) Stay hopeful. Change is always possible. Do not get stuck though, in any case.

I am a Seraphic Single moving to Baltimore myself as I have been offered a job there. It won't be DC, yes, but quite close. I am sad to be leaving a good Catholic community here in my city. Hoping to find a new and nurturing one in the area. Is there some good Ignatian-based communities in the east coast?

It would be wonderful to meet with groups of other Seraphic Singles closeby.

Urszula said...

What about all Seraphic Single girls in DC get together, with the letter-writer above, or even just because? I've been dipping in and out of the Catholic YA community here, and I'd like to make new friends who share my faith. Seraphic, I think you have my email address, please feel free to share with any of your DC-based readers :)

Unknown said...

Not sure how old N2CB is, but I am pals with the 35+ crowd and would be happy to assemble a little get together to introduce him around, if appropriate. Like Tess, I'm taken, but have many, many NCG friends who are not! Feel free to pass on my email.