Mark Shea Gets It

Yesterday Aussie Girl in Australia mentioned in the combox that Mark Shea had apologized to sexual assault survivors and taken down his offending post mentioning Lara Logan. It was quite late when I saw that, but I clicked over to Mark Shea's place and behold. (Ignore the dumber comments by the almost entirely male commentators. In fact, just skip the combox this time.)

That's one thing I like about Mark Shea: he is willing to admit when he is wrong, apologize and make amends by taking posts down. He lets you see his conscience at work, which is very brave, I must say.

Meanwhile, Mark's mea culpa reminded me of my post on his offending post, in which I suggest that any married man blogger think about his wife before posting anything touching on sexual assault:

I kept mulling it over, largely focusing on the logic and arguments and not really thinking beyond that. Then something occurred to me.

Would I have written it had my own wife been a survivor of rape? If the discussion has opened old wounds for her, would I have said it? The answer was a very clear, “No.” Nothing was worth making her cry or hurt. Even landing a good punch on real defenders of real evil. In fact, to do so was to fail to see her humanity, which is what defenders of torture do to their victims.

"Logic," said Spock's mother to Spock in Star Trek IV (or was it V?), "is only the beginning of wisdom."

When it comes to women's pain, the eyes of the heart see more clearly that the cold gaze of logic. I think this good advice for men who are absolutely bewildered by women's grief and anger.

And now I'm going to take my own post down, as it has served its purpose. And I hope what sexual assault survivors understand from my post and will now take from Mark Shea's apology is that we--your fellow Catholics, or just your fellow decent human beings--are listening to you. What you say and feel matters. We respect your feelings and opinions, and we don't want to add to your hurt. We hope for your healing, and we pray for an end to sexual violence.