What I Miss

One of the problems with writing for Singles when you're married, I've discovered, is that people say to you, "But you're married." It drives me crazy because, like, you know, I know I'm married. But before I was married I was Single. I was Single for a loooong time. I had a whole Single life going on. And I decided to spend it at grad school and, when I was done with grad school, living with my parents and writing a lot. And I enjoyed living with my parents. My parents are cool.

Eventually someone might eventually ask me what I miss about the Single life. I hope somebody does, actually, because it would be a recognition that being Single (and sleeping alone) is not outrageously terrible 24/7. I hope I wouldn't turn into a pillar of salt, though, like Lot's Wife. Poor Lot's Wife looked back nostalgically at her homeland, and whammo. Since then turning into a pillar of salt has been a metaphor for getting stuck in the past.

I definitely won't get stuck in the past because I am loving my present, poppets. It rocks. I have a cute husband and live in one of the coolest apartments in Scotland. I live just outside of one of the most beautiful cities in Europe, and there are several boxes of books sitting in an office in Toronto, each book with my maiden name across it. It rules to be me. But I will admit to missing one or two or ten things from my Single Life, so I will list them here so that you can ponder what it is you love about your Single Life.

1. I miss living with Mummy and Daddy.

2. I miss seeing my brothers and sisters and nephews on a regular basis.

3. I miss my ole buddy Trish.

4. I miss my buddies known collectively as Les Girls.

5. I miss wandering into the Catholic Register offices to chat and hear the stories behind the stories.

6. I miss wandering into my old theology school and seeing what's going on with my former profs.

7. I miss calling up my buddy X when I'm having a crisis, and then calling up Y when talking to X doesn't do the trick.

8. I miss coffee, but that's mostly because I gave it up for Lent. However, I also miss the coffee machine in my parents' kitchen, and its massive thermos-jug, and pouring Tim Horton's coffee into a mug while my mother shouts, "Is that MY mug?", and staring out the window to see if there are any blue jays or cardinals hanging out in the backyard.

9. I miss family life in general. My mother-in-law lives up North and my uncle-in-law lives down South, and that's it for my in-laws. For someone who comes from a family of 7 plus grandmothers, it's kind of weird not to have family around.

10. I miss getting my monthly paycheque in the mail and putting into the bank all by myself. This may sound odd, but it is the truth.

11. I miss Mum doing all the laundry and most of the cooking. I agree that this is infantile. Just being honest here.

12. I miss Graziano's cappuccinos at The Annex Live.

13. I am livid there's no point in my applying to join the Toronto Temperence Society (a private club for cocktail drinkers).

14. I miss getting actual paper copies of the Catholic Register and cutting out my columns for my scrapbook.

As you can see, most of the things and people I miss I'm missing not because I'm married, but because my marriage means living in Scotland. But I won't be nagging at B.A. to pick up sticks and move to Canada because our life is here, and we love it. You'll notice that I didn't say anything about missing the architecture, urban sprawl, the subway and Toronto's teeming millions. Oh, wait, though:

15. I would kill for some decent Chinese food.