helo it is me the inner child happy noo yeer. i just mayd my outer adult eat 2 gobs of turkish delite even tho she is now afrayd of shugar and today was to be a shugar-free day. lol rofl!
to be frank i did not want to ryt today but seraphic sed if i didnt she wud tayk bak the super-cute owl tin i mayd her buy. one sec wile i get her to post a pickchur.
also notburga promissed ART and i want to see it and maybe she wont send it unless i ryt. so i ryt. were was i?
chapter 5 kontinewing
hewberts overworked hart gave a grate jump and then seemed to melt like isecream when he looked into proodens soft eyes.
'abowt me?' he murmured.
'yes' sed laydie proodens pewsie. 'oh hewbert, deer hewbert, if you were an animal wat sort of animal do you think you wud be?'
'but i am an animal,' sed hewbert rather nonplussed, 'that is man is a rashunal animal. aristotel sed so in fysiks'
'yes but i meen inside. o deer i kno i am not supposed to say this hewbert mama was qwite feers but she sed that all men hav an animal naychur. sum are lyk stal--gentelmen horses and sum are like fish and sum are lyk irish setters. mama sed i shud be yoked to a man lyk an irish setter but i am not shur.'
hewbert mowth was as dry as a 2 day old pees of toast but he got the wirds out.
'and wat sort of man wud yuo like to be yoked to?'
'well natchoorally i wud be lyk to be yoked to an elefant' sed proodens.
and despyte his payn and his hart and his long kaptivity hewbert laffed. he laffed until teers ran down his thin fase. prooden wached him solemly.
'you see hewbert' she sed shyly. 'i think yuo are lyk an elefant.'
'my deer proodens' sed hewbert taking both her hands in his. 'i luv yuo with all my hart. i am old enuf to be yuor father and a ginger with a ginger temper to mach and altogether unworthy of yuo but i luv yuo as i luv my sole. howver i do not see how i am lyk an elefant.
'yuo weep' sed proodens twining her fingers in his. 'you remember. and most of all deer deer hewbert yuo have an enormus hart. and i luv you so much yuo must be an elefant'
'pon rep how verie prettie' kaym a voys from the doorway. clementyna dowajer duchess of paisey stood ther all dekked in blud red--blud red silk fell from her shulders blud red silk encased her slender bodie blud red rubees shone from her perfekt eers blud red red rubees gentlie klasped her swan-lyk nekk. her dark eyes glittered. 'pon rep how verrie tutching.'
but proodens did not tayk her eyes from hewbert nor did hewbert tayk his from her.
'kongratulayt us yore grays' sed hewbert in a voys as strong as it had bene in helth, 'congratulate us sister for we are to be married.'
'o yes' sed proodens. 'o yes pleese herbert. yay!'
and throwing her arms abowt him she snugled on his boosom a silken sky bloo bundel of joy.
'ah ah ah such presipitusness' snarled clementyn with such furie that amayzed proodens sat up and stayred in shokk. The trembling duchess shut her eies and took kommand of herself. they opened again and tho they still glitered she smiled. she smiled kruelly.
'my deer brother' she sed. 'it is no sekret that yuo hav had long pereeods of derangement. yuo had one after you fell in yore edinburra kirk and the one yuo had in london led yuo to attempt to murder yore deerest freind of oksford days the putativ father of this innosent girl.'
'that last was becuz of yuo, sister' cryed hewbert feercely sitting up and pulling proodens into his arms. 'it was solely bekos of yuo. and what the devil do you meen by putativ?'
'as yuo hav bene to oksford i am shur yuo kno the meening of such komplikated wirds' sneered clementyn. 'haf london knos the reel reeson wy yuo and charles kwarreled and she sertanely wasnt i.'
'it was yuo and yuo kno it--none beter! and by this marriag i will sho the wirld that my innosent proodens had 0 to do with it.'
'this marriaj!' clemenytina throo bakk her awburn hed and laffed. Her laff was so piersing so eevil that up in the attik hewberts imprisoned staff herd it and theyr blud froz. it tuik on a note of sutch histeria that after heering it mrs jersey rushed to hewberts chaymber to see wat ailed her grays. proodens earlier dislyk for the dutchess kame roring bak and she held onto herbert as if to protekt him.
'this marriaj' said clemenyn wiping away teers that left blak streeks. 'this marriaj wud be the gratest skandal ever to mayk the robinson name stynk in the nostrils of the wirld.'
'how dare yuo?' sed hewbert and gently pushing proodens away he throo his legs over the edge of the bed and stood.
'o darling hewbert do be karyful!' squeeked proodens. 'yuo hav been so awfly ill!'
'and yuo hav cured me my deerest luv' sed the hon the rev mr hewbert robinson. 'skandal forsooth. to sayv proodens reputayshun i am indede willing to x-pose yuo clemyntyn most base of sisters. altho all the wirld will pitty laydy proodens for allying herself to such a familie no stayn will rest on her---yuo sink of filthie lusts yuo murderess!'
'not proodens' sed clementyn koolie.'her mother.'
hewbert and proodens both stayred.
'hermione?' sed hewbert.
'mama?' wondered proodens. she stood and took hewberts hand.
'hermione forsooth! what devilry is this?" demanded herbert. 'surely noone wud beleev such tomfaddel that charles and i were fyting over hermione!
'noone?! the town rings of it! the ton talks of 0 els! from the klubs of st jayms to the drawingrooms of grosvenor street the cry is going up---how in one of his fits of madness the reverend--if he can be called by that honorfik herafter--hewbert robinson did sedews the buxom wyf of our beloved charles grunstayn and--indede--beget a child upon her!'
'wat fresh horror is this?' rored hewbert hands klasped to his eers. besyd him proodens had gon qwite wite. 'how can the almighty allow such lies to exist without immediately blasting thier authors with lighting to the fiery pit! i and hermione---!?! never! never! hermione--more of a sister than yuo hav ever bene to me--hermione my only true sister a sister of the soul rather than of flesh--and soon pleez God to be my mother-in-law. noone cud beleev it. charles will never beleev it.'
'wat charles beleevs woant matter' purred the duchess. 'its wat the ton thinks that cownts and beleev me hewbert the ton will never permit this marriaj of yores.'
'and why not?' cried proodens. Her bloo eyes blazed. 'whyever not?'
'becuz my dere' sed clementyn silkily. 'the ton thinks hewbert is yore father.'
to be kontinewed.