Detachment says, "Well, I'd like to get married/find the right religious order, and as far as I know I'm a happy, sociable person. So I'll leave it up to the Lord. He can do the hard work, and if He has another plan for me, I guess He knows best."
Despair says, "I'm NEVER getting married/into the right religious order because I am/men are/religious orders are [bad stuff]!"
I had an interesting comment today that reminded me of the badness of bitterness. If you haven't read my posts on bitterness, type "The Badness of Bitterness" into the search engine. Bitterness is the Single's enemy number one.
People like happy, confident people. The happier you are, the more relaxed you are, the more confident you are, the more attractive you will appear to those around you.
The most serene Church Lady in my childhood church was named Jeannie. As far as I know, Jeannie never married. She had a good training in some female-dominated profession--teaching or nursing, I forget which--worked her whole life, was a pillar of the local Polish community and of my parents' parish. She was a Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist, and so sat up front, year in and year out, smiling. She was always smiling. It was like she had a radio transmitter in her head with which she was in constant contact with heaven.
Jeannie never married, but so what? She lived to a ripe old age, and appeared happy and tranquil and in touch with heaven to the end of her days, and died leaving her birth family with fond memories and an indelible impression on mere neighbours like me.